So David Eason is trash, just pure human garbage, and pretty much everyone who is aware of his existence knows this.
The only “fans” David has are the people who share his backwards beliefs. Thankfully he doesn’t have too many of them.
Thirsty groupie-mistress Britt notwithstanding.
But still, no matter what this knuckle-dragger says or does, Jenelle Evans seems absolutely determined to stand by him.
And you really just have to see all this nonsense she spewed in her latest misguided attempt to make people like him …
The Happy Couple
So this is Jenelle and her big ol’ gross husband, David. They look happy, right?
Wrong
But despite their smiles, their marriage is a real dumpster fire — we know that for several reasons.
RIP Nugget
There was the time that David killed her dog, the time that she called 911 and said that he pushed her so hard she thought he broke her collarbone, the time that she called 911 and said that she locked him out of the house and he was literally beating the door down while Ensley was sleeping upstairs in her room.
More Proof
Jenelle has also made multiple public statements about how bad he is, and that she knows it’s best for her and her children to be away from him.
What a Mess
But whenever she isn’t actively planning on leaving him, she pretends like everyone is stupid for remembering all of that, and she makes up really bizarre lies to justify it all.
Next!
And now that we’ve gone over that phenomenon, let’s switch gears to Jenelle’s newfound passion for dumb conspiracy theories.
Ugh
So lately she’s been taking some time off from defending David to post incessantly about how basically every famous person, from Tom Hanks to Obama to Oprah, is a pedophile who worships Satan and traffics children using a very sophisticated code involving pizza.
Incredible
She really thinks she’s doing something with all of this, and you could tell she was especially proud over the weekend when she went to some road near her house and held up this flimsy “Save the Children” sign.
No Way
We’re not sure what she expected, but after she shared photos of her sign on social media, tons of people ripped her apart. Because really, Jenelle Evans is worried about saving the children when she doesn’t have custody of one of hers and forces the others to live with a man she’s said on several occasions is abusive?
Oh Neat
She posted the photos on Facebook, and some of her followers got so heated that she actually stepped in to set the record straight.
Fair
After getting plenty of comments like “Save your own children first!”, she thanked the people who share her ridiculous beliefs for their support, then added “As for the haters… you can say what you want but I protect my babies with everything in my heart. My children are happy and healthy and LOVE DAVID no matter WHAT YOU SAY.”
… What?
Someone asked her about that time that David locked Kaiser in a car and wouldn’t let him out, something she herself claimed in court when she got her restraining order against him, and she said “People like you read everything in the media and believe the headlines. It’s really sad you’re that gullible.”
Seriously?
“It’s really sad you’re that gullible.” The girl that’s been going on and on about QAnon nonsense is saying that.
Sure
Of course people started pointing out that that particular claim was from a statement she made, and one person told her “You really want to deny your own sworn statement.”
This Girl
“Yeah because I didn’t write it dumbass,” she replied.
Solid Point
“You admitted that he abused your kids and even got a protective order against him,” another person commented. “Save your own kids.”
Infuriating
“Reason why I DROPPED IT,” she said. It’s not a complete sentence, but we’re guessing she’s saying she dropped it because it wasn’t true, which doesn’t change the fact that she got it in the first place, and that she got it because she filed for it, not because it dropped from the sky.
OH OK
She finally explained the issue with the restraining order that she apparently had nothing to do with — she said “The lawyer I had was in the lawyer for the MeToo Movement.”
Make It Stop
Doesn’t it make you want to beat your head against a wall? Like her lawyer obviously didn’t make up all of that, and even on the off chance he did, SHE STILL WENT TO COURT TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER. Did she do it for fun? Was she unfamiliar with what a restraining order is?
Just Wait
After witnessing that whole mess, a follower commented “Just wait till her kids can start speaking for themselves here soon we will all know the truth.”
Absolutely
Jenelle hit back with “Can’t wait because they love their parents despite what anyone says.”
Oh Jace
It’s worth mentioning that Jace, her oldest kid, is getting older and he had been expressing his feelings in Jenelle’s last couple of seasons on Teen Mom 2. Remember, he repeatedly told her that he didn’t want to live with David, that he didn’t want her to marry him, and he once even told Barbara that “Mommy and David are pieces of sh-t.”
So Tough
But there’s a reason for all of that — she said that he says those things and prefers living with Barbara “Because Jace walks all over my mom… like I said there’s so much non of you know and now because the show stopped. It sucks.”
Good Question
Another thing that was brought up was the incident from earlier this summer when David pistol-whipped her friend — some people wondered what her excuse was for the statement she made then about leaving David, the one where she said that she was upset because he was released from jail so quickly and that she wished the situation was taken more seriously.
Of Course
But don’t worry, our girl has an answer for everything!
WHY
“The wrong friends can cause unnecessary drama in front of your kids sometimes that you can’t help,” she wrote, along with a shrugging emoji.
Wild
At this point, we’ve seen the video of the incident — it’s honestly mostly just audio, but it’s beyond clear that it’s entirely David’s fault that things turned to bad there. After all, he was the one who pulled the gun and yelled “I will blow you’re f-cking brains out” in front of the kids.
Bless Her Heart
The madness continued when someone genuinely asked her how she could go from making a statement about getting a divorce to beng so “in love” — she answered “I DIDN’T GET DIVORCED lmfao and my family wanted to be back HOME as FAMILY AGAIN. You have no f-cking idea how my children think.”
Naturally
She ended up removing all of these comments, because of course she did, but she’s still going on Twitter.
Why Bother?
Over there, someone wrote “Save your own damn children,” and she actually responded with “I have.. from CPS and MTV.”
Goodness Gracious
She also complained about the way gossip sites have been reacting to her QAnon garbage, tweeting “Literally reporters act like ‘who cares about stolen children… we hate Jenelle more!’ Like wtf?”
Whoa
It’s almost like most people are focused on actual issues and not crazy conspiracy theories about Chrissy Teigen’s preferred pizza toppings.
Not Concerned
But don’t worry, Jenelle isn’t getting entirely wrapped up in all of that — she’s still making time for her newfound passion for embarrassing dancing on TikTok.
Wow
Girl worked it out in her latest show of talent — no bra or anything!
Riiiiiight
And just as a sidenote, it seems like at least a few people were aroused by her dancing prowess, because shortly after sharing the video she posted this message saying “I am flattered but no, I’m not making an OnlyFans you guys.”
Unthinkable
How strange it must be to live in Jenelle’s world, huh?
The Big Question
What will she come up with next?!