Jenelle Evans and David Eason are totally in love and their marriage is stronger than ever.
And if you don’t understand that, well, then you just don’t get how your husband murdering your dog and getting your kids taken away from you can really light that fire.
Sorry you never had to go through such a good relationship building exercise.
In a new interview, the Easons are telling everyone all about how blissful they are these days, just months after he grabbed her dog, beat it a little, then shot it with a shotgun.
#Goals, right?
Ugh
Jenelle and David … they’re just so insanely awful, right?
The Pain
Like to the point where it kind of hurts to even think about how they’re real people, you know?
Wish We Could Be Better
But just like it’s impossible to look away from a train wreck, we just can’t help but keep up with these two monsters.
Of Course
And so here we are.
Exciting Times
So this has been a very big week for Jenelle, right? She finally launched her cosmetics line that nobody cares about, and she’s been doing a whole, whole lot to promote it.
Sorry, Girl
She had that launch that no one cared about in New York, and she and David have been wandering around random events, trying to get people to pay attention to them.
Uh Oh …
They’ve also been giving quite a few interviews — the most notable one so far being the one where they finally admitted that David killed Nugget.
Gross
Or, well, where they admitted it again — he admitted to doing it on Instagram right after it happened, and Jenelle was very open about it all, but suddenly when the police investigation was happening they simply did not know what happened to the poor dog.
Riiiight
As David tried to explain it in that interview, “It was a situation where my daughter, her health, her safety was in danger.”
Sure
“This was something that nobody wants to ever have to do. The dog was aggressive. Yes, she might not be huge or whatever, but you know when a dog bites a child on the face more than one time, then it should never be around the child again. If you give the dog up for adoption, one day it’s going to be around children again.”
Oh Definitely
At one point, David was said to be “fighting back tears” as he insisted “I mean, I loved that dog. I still think about her every day. It’s really hard for me. A lot of people put me down for it, they hate me for it, but like I said it was not something I wanted to do.”
Weird But True
You know, we’d wager that it was a lot harder for Nugget, and that while he may not have wanted to do it, most people also don’t want to kill their dogs … so they don’t. They train them or they teach their children how to behave around them, and as we all saw in the video of Nugget “biting” Ensley, the dog just nipped at her a bit because she wouldn’t leave her alone. Like, there was probably another solution besides breaking out the shotgun.
Honey, No
“David has grown up in the country lifestyle — he hunts, he fishes,” Jenelle added. “The way he was raised is really different than a lot of other places. We understand that people ares scared of the whole gun thing, [but] they just don’t understand it from David’s perspective.”
Uh
She acts like David grew up in a radically different culture — he grew up as a country boy in North Carolina. There are plenty of people with very similar upbringings who don’t kill their dogs, come on now.
Cool
She said that he realizes that what he did was wrong and he’s sorry for it, and that he didn’t understand how upset people would be about what happened when the news got out — which makes sense, because people are usually pretty chill about animal cruelty.
Honestly
In another interview, she commented that that whole thing where they temporarily lost custody of all their kids and then miraculously (for them) got them back has “been very great because it’s really keeping us humble.”
This Girl
Do you get what we’re saying? She’s wandering around New York and saying the dumbest things to anyone who will listen. That’s how she’s promoting her silly eyebrow stuff.
Ridiculous
And in this new interview, she’s telling everyone all about how super in love she and David are. Because that’s believable, right?
OK
“We’re doing really good,” she told Us Weekly at yet another party in New York. “We went to a coparenting counseling … and we overcame a lot of obstacles, and we’ve just been dealing with it the best we can.”
Thanks, Dave
“I think we’re getting stronger than ever, really,” David added — you know he was there, too.
Better, Really?
“I mean, we’ve worked on our problems throughout the past few years,” he said. “It’s really gotten better. No matter what it looks like, it has gotten actually a lot better since the beginning. Just like any newlywed or fresh couple.”
Wait
So that’s a really confusing quote, because they’ve only been together for a few years — so the vast majority of their relationship has been them working on their problems?
Sad
And the whole thing about new relationships is that they’re supposed to be fun and exciting and happy — why else would people stay together? Was it really worse than this in the beginning?
Hmm
We’re not sure what he meant about the newlywed comment, but they’ve clearly been out of that phase for a good long while now, if they were ever in it at all.
Also This
One more thing on that quote — he said “we’ve worked on our problems throughout the past few years,” but less than a year ago she called 911 and was crying hysterically about how he assaulted her. A couple of months after that, she called 911 again because he was taking an ax to the front door because she was angry. So … that was progress?
It’s Not Working
Also during this new interview, Jenelle did her best to defend David yet again. Hey, maybe this time we’ll actually feel sorry for him, you know?
… Huh?
“I think that a lot of people think David’s a really angry person, but I just think he’s human and I just think he gets angry just like any other person,” she said. “People don’t see the other side of him.”
Oh OK
“I think people take anxiety for anger sometimes and they take your loud voice for anger,” he added. “Or, if someone only shows your arguments, then they also think you have anger, when that’s the only thing that’s being showed.”
For Real Though
Yeah, or like they take you screaming obscenities for anger, or they take you threatening people with violence for anger, or they take you pulling out a knife and stabbing a bunch of set decorations because your wife’s television network won’t serve you alcohol on a shoot for anger.
Nope
They really are trying anything they can to get people to feel sorry for David in some way — he grew up in a different lifestyle, he has anxiety, etc. — and sorry, but it’s just not going to work.
The Hard Truth
David will forever be horrible, and sorry, but those eyebrow kits still aren’t going to sell. Tough break, Jenelle.