If you watched last night’s episode of Teen Mom 2, you may have come away from it feeling that the relationship between Javi Marroquin and Briana DeJesus was even more unstable and unhealthy than you’d previously thought.
You weren’t alone on that.
As far as we can, tell it was nothing but drama with these two from the very start, and last night’s absurdity basically confirmed that they only dated because of their shared desire to seek revenge on Kailyn Lowry.
For some reason, Briana’s plastic surgery was the issue that put this relationship to the test, and it was flat-out bizarre to see the whole thing unravel on camera.
Here’s a rundown of how it all played out:
Better Days
We suppose there might have been a time when Javi and Briana were actually happy together. We just didn’t see any of it.
Surgical Summer
The issue that drove Javi and Briana apart was her trip to Miami to undergo a cosmetic surgery procedure.
Make Up Your Mind!
At first, Javi was mad that Briana wanted to get more surgery. Then he was mad that he wouldn’t be the one to help nurse her back to health after the procedure.
Forgot About Dre
Javi pretty much lost his mind upon learning that Bri planned to have her ex-boyfriend Dre take care of her after her surgery.
Playing the Game
To be fair, Briana seemed to choose Dre for the job primarily because she knew it would piss Javi off, but his reaction was still hilariously over-blown.
A Surprise Visit
Javi showed up unexpectedly just prior to Briana’s surgery and spoke of her decision to summon Dre in hilariously overblown terms.
Betrayal!
Javi described Bri’s decision as an act of “betrayal” because apparently dude talks like he’s in a soap opera now.
Flipping the Script
Javi really should’ve known that would blow up in his face, as he had recently committed his own act of betrayal.
Pod People
We said earlier that it was Bri’s plastic surgery that led to her breakup with Javi but really, there was another factor in play, as well. Yes, we’re talking about Javi’s appearance on Kailyn Lowry’s podcast.
Confusing Times
At the time, Javi and Bri were broken up, and Marroquin said as much while being interviewed by his ex-wife.
Wounded Bri
Bri was understandably less than thrilled. It’s not like Javi trashed her during the interview, but we can see why she wouldn’t love learning that Javi gave an interview in which he spoke with his ex-wife about their recent breakup.
What Was He Thinking?
It would’ve been a boneheaded move on Javi’s part under any circumstances, but it was especially dumb considering he must have known that he would want to try and win Bri back at some point.
Outdoing Himself
Of course, if you thought that was the dumbest move Javi could possibly make, boy, was he about to prove you wrong.
Enter Lauren
These days, Javi is expecting a baby with Lauren Comeau. The news surprised fans, but apparently, Lauren has been very much on Javi’s mind, even back when he was dating Briana.
This Effing Guy
For reasons that defy explanation, Javi thought it would be a good idea to mention Lauren during his argument with Briana.
Really, What Was He Thinking?
Not only that, he informed Bri that unlike her, Lauren was willing to move to Delaware in order to be with him.
Javi, Javi, Javi …
Not surprisingly, this revelation didn’t lead Bri to plead with Javi to take her back.
The Mind of Marroquin
The whole situation made us wonder why Javi is so inept with the women in his life. But it also left us with an even bigger question …
Why Did These Two Ever Hook Up?
Like, it had to be revenge on Kailyn, right? Did these two ever seem right for each other? And was Javi serious when he considered getting ENGAGED to Briana?! Javi and Bri calling it quits might be the best decision either of them has ever made.