Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley never really had the greatest relationship, but they do share a daughter, Leah, so they pretty much have to get along with each other for the rest of their lives.
Think about that for a second, being forced to deal with Amber for all the rest of your days ...
It's no wonder Gary snapped, right?
In last night's episode of Teen Mom OG, he had some pretty harsh things to say about her -- harsh, but true.
Amber didn't take it well, so no surprise there, but what was surprising was that Gary took the time to apologize to her on Twitter for everything he said during the episode.
Because again, what he said was true.
Here, let's just review everything, and you can see if you think Gary needed to apologize, OK?
A Bad Match
OK, so Amber and Gary were always terrible together, from the very first moment we ever saw either of them on Amber's 16 and Pregnant episode. They just don't get along well. Even in their happiest moments, there was always some issue -- remember when he tried to propose and she got mad because he didn't use the exact words she wanted to hear?
These two broke up, got back together, got engaged, then broke up again more times than we can even count, and it took Amber going to prison to really end things for good between them.
While Amber was incarcerated, Gary met Kristina, who he went on to marry and have another child with. Kristina became the mother figure that little Leah never really had. Everyone loves Kristina.
Gary did lead Amber on a bit during this time though -- he didn't make it clear to her when he was in prison that their relationship was over, and he strung her along when she got out. But through it all, he was always a good father to Leah, and that's what we're talking about here.
Meanwhile, Amber chose to stay in prison, away from her young daughter, instead of going to rehab, and when she was back home, she chose to get involved with creepy Matt Baier instead of rebuilding her relationship with her kid.
She mentioned trying to get custody of Leah back a few times, but then never really talked about it again. And in the time that she's been out of prison, she hasn't seemed to make seeing her at all that much of a priority.
Come On, Amber
She's been getting criticism about this for a long time now, but it's gotten a lot worse after seeing in this season of Teen Mom OG that she only saw Leah twice during her entire summer vacation last year. Twice.
Many, many times now, Amber's said that she was simply too depressed to see Leah, that her breakup with Matt was awful and she didn't want her daughter to see her in such a state.
But she wasn't too depressed to fly out to L.A. for several weeks to film Marriage Boot Camp, and she wasn't too depressed to meet Andrew Glennon, begin dating him, and then get pregnant with him -- because yes, all of that happened during Leah's summer vacation.
Not a Great Excuse
Everyone understands that Amber suffers from mental illness, no one's ever doubted that, but it's still frustrating to hear her say she was too depressed to even visit her child when she was able to do all that, you know?
And if it's frustrating for us to hear, imagine how poor Gary feels.
Well, we don't really have to imagine, because he was pretty darn open with his feelings during the new episode when he unloaded everything on Kristina.
To recap everything, we have to go back to a conversation from an earlier episode when Gary told Kristina “Amber’s not there. She’s a come and go kind of mom. Some people want to be parents, some people are parents, and some people just don’t give a f-ck I guess."
In the new episode, Amber reacted to that, telling a producer that it's "bullsh-t" for Gary to say something like that because "I'm not an absent mother, I'm there for my kid." She also points out that she actually saw Leah three times during her summer vacation, not just twice. Does ... does she not know the definition of the word "absent"?
Once again, she explained that her mental illness was to blame for not being around so often -- even though she just said she's not an absent mother -- but that "I don’t need people to understand that, what I need is for Leah to know that I love her. And I feel like if her dad and her step-mom are talking sh-t about her mother, she’s going to start thinking these things, if she ever hears it. That stuff bothers me.”
She also says that she already spoke with Gary about the things he said, and then we see the aftermath of that conversation from Gary's side. And it's amazing.
Get Her, Gary
He recaps the conversation for Kristina, telling her that he told Amber something along the lines of "The reality of it is, you didn’t see Leah for months at a time. I understand you were broke up with Matt, and you want to sit here and, like, take a break. But, when you’re talking about a break for the whole entire summer when you passed up over two to three months of your time with Leah because you’re depressed?"
He goes on to say what many Teen Mom fans have been saying for a while now, that he understands she was depressed, "but if I get depressed because you and me split up, where’s Leah gonna be? My point is, I can’t take a break. Millions of parents can’t take a break because they have a bad day at work, or because they got a divorce, or because — that’s the reality of life."
"I’m not gonna sit here and approach her and wipe her ass every time I have to talk to her," he continued. "I’m not doing it! Not no more. No. My whole entire life with Leah, it’s been a damn excuse — one to the next. And I’m the one who’s always to blame for her actions."
"No, I did not make her do what she did. I did not make her snort a pill. I did not make her take a pill. I did not make her do drugs. I did not make her go to prison. She chose to do that when she could have stayed out. I’m simply saying 'You broke up with Matt and got another boyfriend before you’ve seen your kid.' Like, that’s my problem right there. Put your damn kid first!"
Where's the Lie?
Everything he said was true, and it all made perfect sense, but still, he tweeted a public apology to Amber just before the episode aired.
"I know we have overcome a lot since tonights episode was filmed," he wrote, "however, I feel horrible For the things I’ve said in tonights episode & probably next weeks as well. I’m sorry & I want to continue to strengthen the co-parenting relationship we have. Plz forgive me."
He added "You’re my baby Mama & even if I’m given a reason to be upset with you I should still respect you. I’m not perfect and I never will be. I want your time with baby James to be precious and I don’t wanna bring you down from this joyful time in your life. Again sorry."
Amber replied to his tweets, telling him "All we can do is move forward and focus on the good in our family and the relationship we have today. No matter what struggles we go through we can work it out. Thank you for the apology."
A lot of people didn't understand why Gary bothered to apologize like this to Amber -- again, he was telling the truth in what he said -- but it's clear from her response that they're back to getting along well, which is obviously what's best for Leah. So ... yay?