David Eason to Be Arrested, Jailed After Missing Court Date?

Ready to Get HA-rrested!

David Eason might be headed for county lock-up. The disgraced former reality star and estranged husband of Jenelle Evans skipped a court date today, and officials say a warrant will soon be issued for his arrest.

On the Run

According to the New Hanover Criminal Court Clerk, Eason was scheduled to appear this morning, and did not do so, at which point the judge in his case has declared that an arrest warrant will be issued if he doesn’t appear by the end of the day.

The charges stem from an incident in which David towed a stranger’s truck without that person knowledge or permission. (These things happen in the life of David Eason with surprising regularity.) Like the genius that he is, Eason recorded the illegal act and posted the video on YouTube.

But Why?

Good question. David’s official explanation is that he was blocked in by the other vehicle, even though it was parked in a legal spot. Like we said, it’s David Eason. Viewing things that go on in his life through the lens of a regular person is likely a fruitless exercise.

Nice Try

The real reason, it seems, is that David had already been out of work for over a year, and he was hoping to turn his YouTube channel into a source of revenue with stunt videos like this one. Internet, man. This is the future. You know, dot com? Check out my vlog, dude.

Irony Delivers

Obviously, that never happened, and in an ironic twist, the attempt at recording his behavior and posting it on the world wide YouTube might wind up costing Eason a considerable amount of cash.

There’s Only One A-Hole Here

“Learn the right way to deal with a–holes who think it’s cool to block you in a parking space,” Eason, perhaps the most gaping a–hole in this entire nation, captioned the footage.

Hilarity

Cops say they had no idea who perpetrated the crime at the time, and had no plan to launch an investigation, because it would’ve been fruitless – until months later, when David posted his video and revealed himself to be the culprit. #smart

It Keeps Getting Worse

The driver of the truck Eason towed, for no valid reason anyone has been able to produce, is Terry Hill. Terry was later revealed to be a disabled veteran. Which probably won’t help David when it comes time for sentencing.

Get The Fool Who Did This

Not surprisingly, Hill was far too pleased about what happened that day, and later decided to press charges after viewing the footage himself.

The Rap Sheet Gets Longer

No stranger to run-ins with the law, David has been charged with two misdemeanors – Injury to Personal Property and Tampering with a Vehicle.

Delaying the Inevitable

Eason’s case has already been continued twice, and his lawyers had filed a request for a third continuance when the judge finally had enough and ordered David to appear in court.

Brilliant Strategy

Apparently, when his third request was denied, David made the brilliant decision to simply ignore his court summons. That works well for members of the executive branch, to be sure, but is unlikely to work out well for dim bulb Dave.

At Least SOMEONE Wants Him!

According to court officials, if David remains a no-show, a $1,000 warrant for his arrest will be issued this evening, and he will officially be a wanted man. Someone please call Dog the Bounty Hunter.

The Downward Spiral

We probably don’t need to tell you that this is only the latest in a long line of bizarre developments that have occurred in Eason’s life in the months since Jenelle Evans left him and fled The Land in North Carolina to the friendlier, Eason-free confines of Nashville.

But Does He Care?

For one thing, Eason is forbidden to see his daughter Ensley under the terms of a restraining order granted to Jenelle.

Gun Nut

The restraining also required David to turn any firearms in his possession and prevents him from purchasing any more. We’re sure he considers that the far greater loss.

On the Road

His efforts to get the order lifted have required David to make multiple trips to Nashville for court hearings, but thus far, he’s had no luck.

Priorities

Funny that he has no problem going to court to try and get his guns back, or to try to procure a new romance (more on that in a moment) but he can’t be bothered to show up in order to keep himself out of jail.

Dave’s New Boo

Of course, all those trips to Nashville have paid off in a different way, as David appears to have found a new love in Tennessee. Call it another Music City Miracle.

Moving On

The woman has been identified as a Nashville nurse’s assistant named Britany Walker, and while David claims they’re just friends, multiple sources have confirmed that they’re far more than that.

Smokin’ Herb

Many feel that David is seeking revenge against Jenelle Evans, who recently began dating a 23-year-old Massachusetts resident named Herb Wilkinson. She’s clearly very damaged and codependent, and cannot be alone. Like for more than a week.

High School Mentality

That might sound ridiculously immature, David trying to get back on Jenelle by dating someone new, but honestly, you really can’t underestimate the insanity of these two, and compared to putting a bullet inside her dog, it sounds downright rational.

Just Sayin’ …

Dave’s probably not too eager to listen to our advice these days, but his time would probably be better spent focusing on staying out of jail and regaining custody of his daughter, rather than starting a new relationship. Just our gut reaction. But what do we know?

What’s Next?

In all likelihood, David will once again avoid prison, as dude seems to get endless chances (except from MTV, which has permanently cut ties with this ticking time bomb). But we’ll keep you updated, just in case there’s some unexpected good news.