If you're a Teen Mom 2 fan, you're almost certainly familiar with the sad, strange saga of Jenelle Evans' cosmetic company.
After all, Jenelle talked about this company, this dream - for several years before she actually launched it in recent months.
And like everything the Carolina Hurricane becomes involved with, it was a colossal failure from the start, then got worse.
However, you might not be familiar with the eyewear line that was recently launched by Jenelle's co-star, Chelsea Houska.
But that's okay. It really is. And here's why:
Chelsea's sales figures are putting Jenelle to shame, proving once again that self-promotion can be easier than you think.
Evans launched a huge PR blitz this fall, but Houska being a decent, well-liked human being seems to have worked better.
Imagine that. Simple, yet profound. Take a look:
Both Jenelle and Chelsea recently launched businesses whose success relies largely on the Teen Mom 2 stars' respective reputations. Of course, in Chelsea's case, this was a good idea. In Jenelle's case ... her name is not exactly associated with success, or sanity, or many positive attributes at all for that matter.
Earlier this month - after more than two years of teasing and "development" and on the heels of a tumultuous summer that saw her ass get fired by MTV, CPS briefly take away custody of her kids, and her husband shoot her dog to death - Jenelle launched JE Cosmetics. And so far, it's not going so great ...
Okay, "not going great" might be understating matters. This is a disaster. Everything about Jenelle's rollout was catastrophic from the price to the packaging to the fact that she's so widely disliked that the troubled reality star had a hard time finding a venue to host her "launch party" that was attended by fewer than 20 people. Yes, two-zero.
Reaping What She Sows
Evans likely thought she was an entrepreneur sitting on a goldmine, but alas. In fact, Jenelle has sold so few eyebrow kits as of this report - the only product available from her long-awaited cosmetics line - that the venture may have ruined what was left of her financially.
And She Probably Bought Them Herself ...
"A source involved in Jenelle’s makeup business told Radar that she has only sold 150 kits since the launch earlier this month,” Radar Online reported on September 19. We're guessing that didn't recoup the considerable investment it took to get this mess off the ground.
"On the website, customers are able to purchase up to 2,822 eyebrow kits, which could indicate the amount of products still available," Radar continued, in the kind of hard-hitting, investigative journalism that renews your faith in America.
This would be bad news under any circumstances, as Jenelle and husband David Eason have both been fired by MTV, and the Gruesome Twosome's respective business ventures were already being hailed as, well, Hail Mary attempts to rescue themselves from the brink of financial ruin.
Yes, David launched a venture of his own, which he's dubbed Black River Metal and Wood. This alleged badass backwoods survivalist sells crafty products like this, which mostly look like the type of thing your kid could make at summer camp. Such cute arts and crafts, Davey!
This Freakin' Guy
But hey, maybe the purpose of David's business is to make Jenelle feel better about her own failures. Insiders say he's sold about a dozen products, meaning that he's actually managed to make her look like a savant. He's the Washington Redskins to her New York Jets, or something.
The Eyes Have It
In any case, things are not going so hot down on The Land. Compare that to her co-stars in South Dakota: The eyewear company recently (and quietly) launched by Chelsea Houska and Cole DeBoer, which dramatically outperformed expectations in its first week, is putting them to shame.
Launched in coordination with Diff Eyewear, The Housk's eyewear line features several glasses frames selected by Chelsea and Cole and stamped with the couple's signatures. And fans are loving it just like they love Chelsea and Cole ... which probably makes some sense, doesn't it Jenelle?
The Big Announcement
“It’s finally here! After over four years of partnership we are so excited to launch our exclusive collection with @diffeyewear,” Houska wrote on Instagram, where she has more than 5.7 million followers, over the weekend.
According to The Ashley's Reality Roundup, the collection launched on Friday morning, and by that night, much of it had already sold out, including the most-expensive eight-pack option, which retailed for $400. Basically, it was a big hit right out of the gate.
Worth the Price
The frames Chelsea is selling are not cheap, with the least-expensive items in the collection retailing for $85. Even so, they've been selling like hotcakes, whatever those are. Does anyone call pancakes that? And do they sell particularly fast? Never quite understood that expression but whatever!
So how is it that two members of the same cast of MTV characters could have such different experiences in the eye-adornment industry? Well, like just about everything these days, it's all about branding, and Jenelle - despite 2.9 million Insta-followers of her own - is failing hard in that arena.
Chelsea is considered one of the franchise's few success stories. Yes, she had a rocky start with boyfriend Adam Lind, but was always beloved as a great mom to their daughter Aubree (no doubt helped in part by her father, Teen Mom 2 fan favorite Dr. Randy). She turned things around even further when she met Cole, and the rest is history ...
The Greasy Easons
Jenelle, on the other hand, keeps finding new and interesting ways to prove to us that she's a terrible person. Pretty much everything involving greaseball Dave Eason falls into that category.
Justice For Nugget
As we touched on earlier, the most recent in Jenelle's long, long list of scandals was an incident in which David beat, shot, and killed her 11-pound French bulldog, Nugget, during one of his infamous fits of rage.
Needless to say, that's not exactly a great PR stunt. In fact, it pretty much cost the Easons everything, especially after they told wildly divergent and rapidly changing tales about what happened on The Land and why.
The ensuing CPS investigation led to the Easons' kids being removed from their home. During the custody battle, Jenelle and David continued to work on her makeup line, but crazily enough, fans were more focused on the whole dog-murder and loss-of-custody thing.
Hilariously, during this time the JE Cosmetics webpage was bought up by an animal rights group. Jenelle still links to the page on her personal website. For a self-styled entrepreneur, she's not very web-savvy.
Insiders say David and Jenelle Eason will do anything to avoid getting real jobs. But so far, posting clickbait gossip headlines and hawking their ridiculous wares online isn't paying the bills.
It Gets Worse
Now, Jenelle has announced that she's starting over from square one after several customers demanded refunds, claiming that they found hairs in the powder contained in their eyebrow kit. No clue whether they were David's hairs. Vile.
Just Not Her Area
Never one to take responsibility for her own shortcomings, Evans says she's working with a different distributor this time around - but we're guessing the 27-year-old won't find much more in the way of success.
Chelsea, on the other hand, is likely plotting her next successful venture. Hey, maybe Jenelle can call her for tips, or apply for a job at one of her stores. On second thought, she'd never get past the background/drug test portion of the application. Oh well.