On 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 3, Episode 9, several couples saw some long overdue honesty.
The most painful part of this by far was Sumit’s mother’s two-faced visit to their home.
Despite her status as a guest, she ordered Jenny about and insulted her … but the worst came from Sumit himself.
Ariela is still awaiting baby Avi’s surgery, but tensions are flaring long distance as she and Biniyam fight.
Corey keeps begging Evelin to take him back, but they’ll need a marriage counselor’s help.
Wholesome news has Kenneth missing home more than ever.
Alina has been testing Steven in more ways than one, and let’s just say that he’s bringing down the class average.
Steven’s mad that she’s been testing him. And she’s mad that he failed so spectacularly.
Jenny Slatten and Sumit Singh
Sahna and Anil have moved in for a few days, and have interpreted the role of “houseguests” to mean the people who are in charge. Whether it’s a desire to please her potential in-laws or just allowing it for the sake of having a storyline, Jenny is going along with this … even when Sahna orders her about in her own kitchen.
Sumit is optimistic
Sumit harbors a secret dream that sounds more like a nightmare, but he reveals that later in the episode. For now, he’s just saying that he hopes that Sahna and Jenny will rebuild the friendship that they had in 2013 when Jenny first visited India.
Oh no
Realizing that she can say anything to Jenny’s face that she wants, Sahna just begins insulting her while wearing a smile, calling her “useless” because she’s not familiar with how to make a specific dish.
Jenny thinks that it’s going well
With the language barrier preventing Jenny from understanding Sahna’s hurtful words, she thinks that they’re having positive interactions and bonding over preparing the food together. For the first time, she thinks that this visit might work out like Sumit hopes instead of how she dreads.
The insults continue
Unfortunately, this is just a taste of the cruel words that will follow.
The food turns out great
It’s potato curry. Sahna then voices the expectation that Jenny will dutifully prepare this for Sumit. Instead of clapping back, Jenny promises that she will — but Sahna then voices her doubts.
The language barrier can only do so much
Jenny can immediately see though the tone and facial expressions that Sahna is using that she has nothing good to say about her. It’s true.
Sahna remains totally hung up on what other people will say
Expressing concerns that most people outgrow by the end of high school, Sahna is essentially saying that she doesn’t want to be seen with Jenny because other people are judgmental.
Okay WOW
What Sahna fails to understand about these insults that she “fears” that others will make is that the person saying those things is a bad person, and it’s on Sahna for associating with them — not on Jenny for being the age that she is.
Anil jumps in … but not to help
He and Sahna both say that people will criticize Jenny (just as they have, apparently)
Enough!!
Jenny might not understand the words that they’re saying, but she gets the idea. Meanwhile, Sumit — who also has the task of translating this for Jenny — understands every cruel jab.
Jenny puts her foot down
They’re in her home; she is not going to let them call her cruel names in her own home. At least, not when she knows that they’re doing it.
Sahna claims that she’s not insulting her
We have several screenshots included in this recap that say otherwise. Saying “people will say” is not the wink and a nudge that Sahna thinks that it is.
Not even Sumit is buying it
He tells his mother that she’s not speaking with respect like she claims that she is.
SUMIT NO
Sumit then says, to his parents and then to Jenny, that his “dream” is that he and Jenny will live with his parents, that they will all get along well and can dwell together. He is a 33-year-old man.
Sumit doesn’t back down, even when they’re alone
He acknowledges that it’s not a realistic fantasy right now because of how his parents view and treat her, but says that he thinks that living together in harmony is the ideal, and seems almost surprised that it’s not what Jenny wants.
Jenny reacts to this like a normal person
Sumit is a 33-year-old man who has confirmed that he’s very happy with how they’re living now. With zero financial or other incentives, he would want to live with his parents, the only obstacle being the tension between them and Jenny. That’s … very difficult to understand.
He didn’t always feel this way
Sumit says that the lockdown and the pandemic, when of course he had to go an extended period without seeing his family, made him feel that distance and want to be closer with them.
Sumit thinks that she would love it
Even people who adore their parents or in laws generally prefer to live independently because of the independence. Deciding when to wake up, what to eat, and whether or not they want to burden themselves with pants (ugh) in their own homes are some of the simple freedoms that come with being an adult, but it sounds like Sumit would rather throw that all away to have his mom cook for him again. Jenny … if this is really how he feels, it’s time to come home. That’s not an easy thing to do, but this is untenable.
Ariela Weinberg and Biniyam Shibre
Though Ariela and baby Avi have been in Princeton, New Jersey for weeks, they’ll be there for at least another month, because of the scheduling for Avi’s hernia surgery. Thankfully, though any surgery on a baby is serious (especially when it comes to anesthesia and vital organs), this is not as urgent as it could be.
Ariela is keeping in touch with Bini … despite his best efforts
On camera, we see when she tries to call him (by the sounds, over Skype) only for the call to immediately disconnect. Ariela announces that he has turned off his phone, despite having promised to not keep doing this.
Oh, girl, this is MESSY
Ariela reveals that they’ve been arguing more and more, and clearly their text exchanges are contentious. Apparently, Biniyam is spending more and more time out with his friends, constantly going to nightclubs and working out, and doesn’t care about being out of contact. In other words, his existing bad behavior has only grown worse since her return to Princeton.
Later, she finally reached Biniyam
He insists that he didn’t actually turn off his phone. See, he was in the basement at the gym … and put his phone in airplane mode. That is not different from turning it off, and she tells him that.
Why did he do it?
Because the two of them had had an argument, one spurred by their usual issues, by a miscommunication, and by being apart. Biniyam declared that she, the mother of his child, was “annoying,” so that’s why he set his phone to airplane mode.
Ariela replies with her concerns
She feels like he does not care, once again reiterating the same emotional neglect issues that have plagued their relationship since she was still pregnant. She also highlights how she feels powerless despite his accusations that she’s controlling — she wants to be able to reach him, and he wants to be allowed to be unreachable for stretches of time without hearing about it later.
Biniyam is impatient
Ariela does not control the surgeon’s schedule, but obviously, Avi needs to undergo surgery and recover before they make the return trip. Though, on last week’s episode, Ariela’s sister showed her some tough love, reminding her that she has a responsibility to her son to think about his future, not about her wanderlust or her fiance’s desires.
Biniyam also speaks about his friends
He says that they’ve been spending extra time with him to make sure that he’s not sad and bored with Ariela and Avi away. Meanwhile, we just have to ask … does Biniyam not have any indoor hobbies? We get that he’s out of work, but nobody “needs” to go live at nightclubs or the gym. Ethiopia has books. (We’re fondly thinking of the time that Rebecca Parrott bought then-fiance, now-husband Zied a game console because she knew that he’d be unable to work for months)
Biniyam promises to not pull this stunt again
However, since he had previously vowed to not turn off his phone but did this anyway, it’s not clear how much this is worth.
Later, Biniyam is at an Ethiopian holiday
Meskel is an Ethiopian Orthodox celebration. Biniyam is shown wishing that Ariela and Avi were there with him, which reminds some viewers of how one-sided this relationship is. Some couples convert to the same faith, others just do their own thing. With these two, we have seen a Jewish woman participate in numerous Christian rites and activities with no reciprocity. That seems like another problem to address.
Biniyam’s friends are totally on his side
They act like he’s being a total weenie by even paying attention to his phone while he’s out and about with them, which is a red flag. They also call Ariela his wife, but they’re not married yet.
Biniyam also calls Ariela “jealous”
Interestingly, Biniyam has said that his ex-wife (who dumped him and accused him of cheating) and his ex-girlfriend, Tsion (who accused him of cheating but never confirmed it) are both jealous people. Which is more likely: that Biniyam just only gets into relationships with women who are irrationally jealous, or there’s something in particular about his behavior that invites jealousy? Something for us all to contemplate.
Corey Rathgeber and Evelin Villegas
Despite Evelin’s joke that Corey and Raul could be a new couple, Corey has moved out of Raul’s after one week and is now renting his own place. He has vowed to give Evelin space … but now, he’s invited her over for burgers.
Evelin accepted the invitation
Corey nervously explains to her as she comes up that he knows how much she likes his burgers so he’s making those. Some of the condiment containers are not what we’d be accustomed to here in the United States, but he’s making do.
Why did Evelin agree?
She says that without him constantly pestering her for unearned forgiveness, she has been able to calm down. With time and space, she remembers how much she misses him.
But she hasn’t forgotten
Dining just feet away from Corey’s beds, plural, means that things that Corey has done — such as Jenny from Peru — are on her mind.
But he’s SUPER sorry
Corey tells her that he is eager to prove himself, whatever she needs.
Maybe …
Evelin says that they need to do marriage counseling before they can start to heal the rift between them.
Sure enough, they see a marriage counselor
Maria Bonilla meets them outside where they can speak without masks on, and they both explain what happened and why they cannot move past it.
Evelin is not a forgiving person
Not everyone believes in forgiveness. You “forgive” someone for being late to dinner or for forgetting your birthday, not for truly and deliberately wronging you.
But there’s more than that
It’s not just about the cheating or the lies that followed. It’s also about how Evelin is embarrassed. She feels like a fool and she feels weak for having trusted him and for letting herself care so much about this relationship that this hurt so much.
Plus, she reveals that there was more to this
Evelin was in a bad car accident. She’s okay, but she was obviously rattled at the time. She reached out to Corey when it happened … and he did not return to be with her.
In fact, she says that he was with Jenny that day
She saw on a mutual friend’s Instagram Story and heard what she believes to be Jenny’s voice on the video, something that Corey has denied. That really stung.
With pressure, Corey comes clean
He offers Evelin a wholehearted apology. She says that this makes her feel hopeful, because this time, he’s not trying to justify his actions — he’s just sorry about what he did.
Kenneth Niedermeier and Armando Rubio
Kenneth checks in on his family, whom he loves and misses since moving to Mexico.
Cassidy is pregnant!
Meanwhile, Kenneth’s grandson is already 5 — and Kenneth has missed so much. He was very involved during his first three years of life.
There are a lot of emotions to process all at once
Kenneth is happy for them, but there’s more than FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) behind his tears. He is homesick in so many ways, and this is something that he has to share with his fiance because he wants to be honest.
He tells Armando how homesick he is
The two are forced to visit a laundromat because their washer has stopped working, and this is where the conversation takes place. Kenneth loves Armando and doesn’t regret being with him, but it’s so hard for him.
Armando tears up in sympathy
He’s heartbroken that his fiance feels this way, and he has to ask if it will impact the wedding or lead to it not happening. (The answer is no, by the way)
Steven Johnston and Alina
Alina has decided that she will remain in Turkey with Steven rather than going back early with her mother, Anna, who returns to Russia that day.
She’s still giving him a chance to prove himself
But there is very much a test involved here, and Steven is not making high marks.
Shoutout to production for filming in a sweltering room
The conversation that takes place here is worth the sweat, however, and we’re not just saying that because some viewers enjoyed Steven’s attire. You know who you are.
Steven took Alina and her mom’s statements to heart … sort of
They accused him of hypocrisy — he boned multiple women but tells Alina that she can’t so much as take a sip of her mother’s coffee. He is resolved to be even more rigid in obeying Mormon rules for how he should live his life.
Words aren’t enough
Alina accurately calls Steven out for how his behavior does not always match up to his words, and she’s right. He seems to struggle to explain himself at times, but we think that we understand — it’s hard to explain yourself when you yourself don’t understand why you are the way that you are.
Has he followed through on his promise?
As Alina knows, the answer is no — Steven still has his social media accounts up and running despite her getting him to agree to deactivate them.
He somehow thought he wouldn’t have to?
If you want to set a boundary and say “no, I won’t delete my social media,” that’s fine. Honestly, it’s probably healthy. But Steven explains that he agreed to Alina’s demand because he hoped that just saying “I will” would be enough, and that he wouldn’t actually have to do it. That’s … absurd.
All the while, Alina has a test going
Her friend Masha has been reaching out, not outright flirting but making contact in his DMs. Remember how he mentioned the snow in Utah to her one time and Alina flipped out? Well, now it’s a bit more serious.
He’s straight-up invited Masha to visit him
He told her that she was in Turkey and suggested that she bring a swimsuit. He is in Turkey with Alina and claims to plan to marry her. That is foolishness and it’s very hurtful to Alina.
Alina tells him all about it
Steven is very hurt that she has been testing him and feels that it was dishonest. Alina is very hurt that he failed the test and feels that he is dishonest. He promises to delete his social media … as soon as he gets to a better internet connection and can save his photos. Things are not happy between them, and they don’t seem to be getting any better.