How many times have you thrown back a shot a shot, or five, to loosen up on a date?
Never, if you're following Patti Stanger's rules. Shots get you drunk and that's no bueno in Patti's book.
And what's up with this "we have to be engaging" rule? Sometimes, we just have other things on our mind.
Okay, for the sake of being reasonable and not sounding like drunken, sex-kittens, let's take a look at some of Patti Stanger's dating commandments...
Thou Shalt Act Like a Lady
Patti Stanger preaches acting like a lady. That means a guy should ask you out for Friday by Wednesday? Okay, but no. If a dude asks us out on Friday for Friday and we like this guy... we're going.
Thou Shalt Honor Thy Dating Commitments
Patti says if a man offers you dinner and you counter with drinks, it could make him think you're auditioning him. So, if you reduce the date to drinks, you're not honoring your dating commitments? Sometimes a girl just wants a drink instead of a four-course meal.
Thou Shalt Not Drink Too Much
Yeah, we get it, let's not get sloppy drunk. But a two-drink maximum? Girl, you're off your rocker. Brandi Glanville should run far away from these commandments.
Thou Shalt Not Be a Golddigger
Remeber when NeNe Leakes was getting shoes from her "business partner" while she and Gregg were separated? Hey, if you can get a Jimmy Choo, get it, girl.
Thou Shalt Be Engaging
So, we have to be sober and put our phones down? Ugh, this is not okay, Patti. Text happens! Just ask the Jenner/Kardashian girls. It doesn't mean we aren't listening.
Thou Shalt Let the Man Take the Lead...
... and Thou Shalt Avoid Bringing Personal Baggage to the Table. Come on, baggage is life's way of making sure people can deal with you. This one is not good for any of the dating moms from Teen Mom. We're talking to you, Farrah.
Thou Shalt Not Speak of Any Other Romantic Relationships
What if your ex is cool like Cynthia Bailey's from The Real Housewives of Atlanta? Her hubby, Peter, seems just fine with her child's father. This is a blurred line.
Thou Shalt Return Calls Promptly
Hey, don't put time constraints on us, little Miss Matchmaker. Patti says men don't like it when you don't return a call promptly. Is that why Kanye always looks angry?
Thou Shalt (If Interested) Express Some Interest
Basically, she's saying to tell the man he's handsome and show him you're interested. So, when Kourtney Kardashian ignores Scott Disic is this a bad thing? They seem fine-ish.
Thou Shalt Not Become Intimate on the First Date
Okay, this is a personal preference. It should never be a rule. It speaks for itself.
Never take dating advice from Patti Stanger because you may end up with a married man like Kenya Moore did. Way to set a girl up, Patti.