If you’re not familiar with the term “doomsday prepper,” these are the people who devote their lives to stockpiling weapons and canned goods in preparation for the apocalypse that they’re secretly hoping will happen while they’re still alive.
It’s a movement that attracts society’s most unhinged and violent elements, so it should come as no surprise that Jenelle Evans and David Eason are hardcore preppers.
On a preview for Monday night’s episode of Teen Mom 2, Jenelle reveals to her mother that she and David were downright jazzed about Hurricane Florence, as it would allow them to finally put all their doomsday nonsense into action.
Sadly, David didn’t get the chance to cut any looters in half with one of his ridiculous hand cannons, but hey, there’s always next natural disaster.
Check out the latest idiocy from these two dweebs:
Post-Apocalyptic Warriors
If the world should turn into a Mad Max-style wasteland over night, Jenelle and David are ready! Or at least that’s what they tell themselves.
Lacking Sensitivity
Back when Hurricane Michael devastated neighborhoods along the North Carolina coast, Jenelle and David made the controversial decision to ignore evacuation orders.
Not the Brightest Bulb
Jenelle took even more criticism for treating the whole thing like a joke.
We Can’t With These Two …
She also accepted food donations after boasting that her area was barely affected and dismissing the dire forecasts as “fake news.”
Preppers Gonna Prep
Jenelle was heavily criticized for putting her children in harm’s way, but she says that if the stuff had hit the fan, she and David were fully prepared.
Explaining It to Babs
In a preview for Monday night’s episode of Teen Mom 2, Jenelle explains to her mother that she and David were fully prepared for the apocalypse.
Un-believable
“We were really prepared,†Jenelle explained to Babs. “We were, like, no offense, but we were, like, doomsday prepping when the whole, you know, Kim Jong-un thing was happening.”
Anything, You Say?
“So, I mean, we’re prepared for anything,” she added.
Not So Much …
But as the folks at Starcasm point out, Jenelle and David were not “prepared for anything,” as their beloved Land sustained damage, even though it was mostly passed over by the storm.
Oh, Is That All?
“Our roof started leaking, and it was seeping down my walls,†Jenelle revealed to Barbara. “And now my floor is wet,â€Â
Valid Concern
“Is my floor going to collapse next?†Jenelle wondered. That’s probably worth looking into
Right to Be Worried
Of course, Jenelle is right to be just a tad bit concerned, especially since her home already has major structural damage, which she and David are apparently just planning to ignore.
Mr. Fix-It
Jenelle claims David is quite handy around the house. But either she’s lying, or his laziness prevents him from ever actually fixing anything.
At Least Someone Knows What They’re Doing
“The insurance guy did come. He saw everything. They’re going to replace everything — fix it all,” Jenelle explained to Babs.
Jenelle’s Hell
Jenelle also reveals that Nathan Griffith’s mom wisely wanted to move her grandson Kaiser to safer territory during the storm. But Jenelle was having none of it.
The Fight For Kai
“His mom told me, you know, ‘My house is safer for a hurricane than yours is, so Kaiser should come stay with us,’†Jenelle told to Barbara.
Jenelle Is Always Wrong
“I was, like, ‘Kaiser will be fine here.’ And she’s, like, ‘Well, you know, we have a safer neighborhood, and blah, blah, blah.’ I was, like, ‘Kaiser will be fine here.’†Evans recalled.
Of Course This Happened
Jenelle was later criticized for allowing a shoeless Kaiser to stomp around in fetid water and debris.
Well, Duh
And of course, he got sick shortly thereafter.
These Effing Two
It’s great that Jenelle and David devote so much time to doomsday prepping.
Word of Advice
But maybe if they devoted some of that attention to their kids, they’d have custody of all of them.