Skip to Content

Long before they filmed for 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way or began in-person surveillance of each other, Brandan and Mary’s twisted obsession showed itself in other ways.

Viewers have already seen more than enough of them to feel concerned.

But there’s more to this than 24/7 video monitoring and intense jealousy in both directions.

In a newly resurfaced video, we can see their hurtful emotional “mind games” play out.

The Hollywood Gossip Logo
In a May 2022 TikTok video, Brandan De Nuccio displayed odd and immature emotional swings while girlfriend Mary Rosa taunted him. Very weird. (TikTok)

Before Brandan De Nuccio and Mary Rosa signed up for 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way, they were just a pair of (elder) Gen Z kids in love.

In love … but already requiring each other to video chat at all times. And both given to fits of extreme jealousy and paranoia.

That is perhaps more evident in a TikTok video that Mary posted herself than it is on the show. We’ll talk about why the show isn’t like this in a moment.

Brandan De Nuccio and Mary Rosa are both 23. Their total obsession with each other is changing the course of their lives forever on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way Season 5. (TLC)

In the clip, Mary simply turned off the camera while on a video call (when is she not) with Brandan.

This meant that she could watch him — but he could not watch her.

She filmed her phone on a second device, recording his reaction when he could suddenly no longer see her.

Brandan De Nuccio could do very well for himself if he chose to date locally. Or anywhere, really. But he only has eyes for Mary. (TLC)

Brandan paused his eating, and she asked if he was “mad.”

He said that he was not — initially, anyway.

And he admitted that he was “overthinking” everything in the moment.

The Hollywood Gossip Logo
Brandan De Nuccio repeatedly tries to get Mary Rosa to turn her camera back on during a May 2022 TikTok during a twisted “prank.” Unsettling. (TikTok)

The recording, which seems to be from May of 2022, then shows Mary seem to taunt Brandan.

She asked why he couldn’t see her. In response, he pouted, reminding her that she’d told him that she had turned off her camera.

He then demanded to know why she had turned off the camera. Did she not want him to see her?

Brandan and Mary cannot even undergo a simple dentist visit without monitoring each other on a video call. (TLC)

“I want to, but I’m not pretty right now. I’m a mess now,” Mary responded. This was seemingly a lie.

Brandan became visibly upset, seeming to shake the camera while he spoke to her.

“I want to f–king see you. You’re not ugly. Don’t say that s–t,” he demanded. “It’ll make me mad if you say that.”

Mary Rosa is a beautiful and very likable young woman outside of the context of her relationship. The same is true of Brandan. (TLC)

She then encouraged Brandan to go back to eating his food. He refused, since she was not eating.

Mary encouraged Brandan, who was standing in a kitchen, to “eat [his] food,” though he refused because she wasn’t eating her own food.

Social media users, starting with TikToker Duuses who spotted the video on the algorithmic nightmare app, discussed how effed up this was.

Brandan and Mary are emotionally joined at the hip. Fans have a lot of concerns. (TLC)

First and foremost, people remarked on how toxic this “manipulative, emotional mind game thing” was.

It’s worse than just 24/7 surveillance. Because it’s surveillance with unhinged emotional spirals if the surveillance pauses at any time.

Then there’s Mary doing this on purpose to see and record a rise out of Brandan. It’s a bad look for them both.

Even if Mary is sleeping, she insists that Brandan have a wifi signal strong enough for a video call. If the signal drops, she will accuse him of cheating. (TLC)

Second, it’s a reminder that what we see on 90 Day Fiance: The Other Way is on-camera behavior, after editing.

Just because Brandan seems like a victim of Mary’s insecurities on screen does not mean that the reverse is not also true.

A number of viewers might be surprised to see this kind of instant mood swing from Brandan. He and Mary are both two sides of this very toxic coin.

During Brandan’s flight to see her, Mary essentially dumped him because a woman was seated near him on the plane. Even when he switched seats, it did not seem to stay her wrath. (TLC)

So, why isn’t this what we’re seeing from them on the show?

Well, for one thing, they both know that they’re on camera during the show.

Obviously, they act up on the show. Mary cried over Brandan talking to his dental hygienist and acknowledging that he dated once before.

Introducing Brandan and Mary by filming them while he sits on the toilet during a video call was a disturbing first impression, but an accurate one. (TLC)

But when you’re an unreasonable person, you have a skewed idea of what’s normal to do on camera.

In this moment, on TikTok, Brandan thought that Mary was simply watching him.

He didn’t know that she was recording him. So he was, perhaps, at his most honest and unfiltered.

It wasn’t easy for Brandan’s mother to say goodbye to him as he moved to the Philippines. This was also his first time leaving the US. (TLC)

Of course, some fans of the show have managed to convince themselves that this relationship’s toxicity is one-sided. That Mary is the sole problem.

But actually, no, that’s not the truth.

Many audience members have issues with racism, xenophobia, and most of all, 90 Day Fiance‘s infamous misogyny problem. The show’s editing caters to that.

The Hollywood Gossip Logo
Brandan De Nuccio and Mary Rosa got married, as this Facebook photo that his mother Angela Stiggins shared at the time illustrates. (Facebook)

While it’s true that Brandan and Mary’s relationship sounds like the basis for a psychological thriller or at least a Lifetime movie, they’re not evil people.

But what they have is extremely unhealthy and toxic. And it’s destructive — not just to their other relationships and careers, but to themselves.

We would like to see things improve for them. It would be impressive if something beautiful sprouts from their twisted obsession.