At the 90 Day Fiance Season 8 Tell All Part 2, Tarik Myers and Hazel Cagalitan shared their updates.
They have not yet found a girlfriend, but they hope to … despite some previous difficulties.
Fans are taking aim at Tarik over his continued contact with Minty.
Why, they ask, his is friendship with an ex more important than his marriage?
To start things off at the Tell All Part 2, Hazel was asked if she and Tarik are still seeking a girlfriend.
"Yes, in the future," she replied.
Hazel and Tarik are polyamorous, but were unable to find a girlfriend during Season 8 due to the COVID-19 pandemic.
Julia then asked if this would mean that Tarik has "two girlfriends."
That is not the case, though a translation issue may have been at plan.
Tarik set the record straight on that:
Tarik emphasized that this is not about having "two girlfriends."
He will have one wife, and that is Hazel.
The two are looking for a mutual girlfriend, not a third spouse.
Rebecca Parrott, whom we like despite her visible insecurities, seemed opposed.
Whether it was because the Tell All encourages stars to be confrontational or not, she suggested that Tarik should have "made his choice."
He did make a choice — it’s called polyamory.
Tarik explained that, like countless other couples, Tarik and Hazel are polyamorous.
There is an astounding amount of ignorance and also outright bigotry towards their polyamorous goals.
It was nice to hear Tarik school his castmates on things.
Unfortunately, not everyone was willing to listen or to learn.
The concept of monogamy has a stranglehold on our culture.
The backlash that Tarik and Hazel received for wanting a girlfriend is, frankly, appalling bigotry.
Like Tarik, Hazel also affirmed that her spouse is her priority.
All season long, hostile (and frankly biphobic) fans have accused Hazel of "using" Tarik and planning to leave him for a girlfriend.
That doesn’t make sense and it was never her plan, but bigots don’t need reasons for their suspicions.
Then the infamous Minty joined the chat.
She is their mutual ex-girlfriend, but she had dated Tarik before the very-short-lived throuple meetup involving Hazel.
In fact, it sounds like they spent mere hours in a plural relationship before Hazel told Tarik to break up with Minty.
Minty opined that Hazel simply "couldn’t handle" being in a plural relationship due to jealousy issues.
Though that may be true, it could also be that Tarik and Minty having a history that did not include Hazel was the issue.
Hazel and Tarik hope that when they find a new girlfriend together, they will not have the same issues.
Shaun asked when the last time that Minty and Tarik communicated was.
Infamously, Tarik’s ongoing contact with his ex had caused problems all season long.
Minty stunned everyone when she revealed that the answer was "today."
Tarik then hastily explained that it’s not as bad as it sounds, because it’s in a groupchat.
Hazel had set a very fair boundary: if Tarik had any communication with Minty, it must be in a groupchat.
With Hazel as the third member of the group, she can at least see the conversation that is taking place.
When Shaun asked Hazel if she would prefer that Tarik simply delete Minty’s number, she replied: "Yes, of course."
That Tarik has not done this despite his wife’s obvious distress is a major source of ire in the fandom.
We’ll have more on that in just a moment.
Julia, it seemed, had not quite realized that Tarik and Minty had a sexual history.
To most of us, that was pretty clear from context, or it was at least clear that it was implied.
Only when Natalie pointed it out did things seem to click for Julia.
Yara Zaya, who solidified her position as a fan favorite at the Tell All, noted that it’s the idea.
In a polyamorous relationship such as a throuple, usually multiple people have sex with each other.
(There can be exceptions, such as if one or more partners are asexual and are in the relationship for romantic reasons)
Julia displayed a level of naivete that fans did not expect from a nightclub dancer who didn’t mind nudity.
Some fans noted after the episode that Julia comes from Russia, a notoriously homophobic country.
Even if she is not homophobic herself, she might simply be less aware of how many people live outside of heterosexual monogamy.
However, Tarik and Minty and Hazel did clarify that things didn’t get that far for them.
Hazel had apparently called things off before the three of them could hook up as a throuple.
This led to one of the best reactions of the entire night from Yara.
Yara is such a delight and such a gem.
Anyway, this led Shaun Robinson to summarize the couple’s throuple goals as "different strokes for different folks."
That is very astute … but sadly, not everyone was onboard.
Julia had displayed an alarming judgmental side that did not really surface during the season.
She lost a lot of fans at the Tell All, and even people who are still fans don’t see her in quite the same right.
Whether she was talking about cosmetic surgery or polyamory or the concept of male-female friendships, her takes were bad.
Fans on social media blasted Tarik fro "actively traumatizing his wife."
One wrote: "the entire interaction with Minty, she was visibly distraught and clearly in some form of emotional pain."
Another emphasized how a core rule of polyamory is that you don’t date someone if it upsets your partner or partners.
Tarik isn’t dating Minty, but his refusal to cut ties with his ex is clearly distressing Hazel and hurting his marriage.
Minty may be just a "friend" now, but he can’t hide that he likes her, and they were once in a relationship.
Tarik needs to say goodbye and block her number if he wants things to work with Hazel.