These days, we don’t see a whole lot of partying on Jersey Shore.
The gang might have fist-pumped and smushed their way into our hearts over a decade ago, but as they inch toward 40, they have more important concerns.
On Thursday’s episode of Shore, however, the guidos let their hair down in order to celebrate the marriage of Angelina Pivarnick and Chris Larangeira … again.
We’re sure you know the story by now.
In fact, it’s pretty much all they talked about this season.
In case you somehow missed it, Snooki, JWoww, and Deena gave a disastrous bridesmaids speech at Angelina’s first wedding.
It was so bad that Snooki quit the show and Angelina stayed pissed for a year.
But with all that behind them, the crew was ready to celebrate Angelina and Chris the right way.
Last week, we saw the ceremony, officiated by a drunk Uncle Nino who may or may not have understood where he was.
This week, was the main event.
After all, Angelina’s first wedding ceremony went off without a hitch — it was the reception where things got messy.
And for reasons that defy explanation, Vinny felt the need to give a speech.
Even more baffling was his decision to put on a dress and get hammered first.
But in the end, it all worked out, as Vin made himself the butt of the joke by bombing on purpose (we think).
"Angelina, I know that the last speech was a little bit rocky, but thank you for calling the master speech writer to give a speech and show you all how to really roast somebody and how it’s done," he began.
"Angelina has had three fiancés, three fiancés," Vinny went on.
At this point, the rest of the guidos were holding their breath as it appeared that he intended to once again dunk on Angelina.
But then he flipped the script by adding, "Because she’s so beautiful!"
"Some people call her the Staten Island Dump," Vin continued to a chorus of lighthearted boos.
"Joke’s on them because the Staten Island Dump’s been closed for several years and now it’s a beautiful park that people love to go to!"
Hey, the jokes might have fallen flat, but that was sort of the point.
"Speaking of dumps, Angelina’s husband, aka Mr. Handsome, is a garbage man," Vinny continued.
"Some people think that might be a modest way to make a living, but … f— I forgot the punchline."
Despite Ronnie’s claim that Vinny would be "going down in history giving the worst speech in the world," the toast served its intended putpose.
"When we first got here, everybody was going in separate directions, like Mike’s nipples," Vin joked toward the end.
"But we were able to pull it all together, like Jenni’s face.
"Angeliner, these last 10 months have been a disaster and it affected us all. But I am so glad that we’re here and we can laugh at this together and we’re a family again," he concluded.
"A little f—ed up of a family. We love you, we hope you love us."
The next day at the pool, the love-fest continued.
"I can’t believe we’re sitting at the same place at the same time," slurred Angelina.
"I’m just open to gaining your trust and understanding how you feel and you understanding how I feel."
Of course, this is Angelina we’re talking about, so her speech went on way too long and made everyone uncomfortable.
Fortunately, with that awkwardness at an end, the show ended on a positive note with Lauren Pesce announcing her pregnancy.
And with that, another season of Jersey Shore came to an end!
Not a whole lot happened, but the guidos always kept it interesting!