Here in the United States, there are certain universally-accepted truths that we take for granted:
1. The only way to bring an end to mass shootings is to force everyone to stay home, 2. Some things are worth dying for, and opioids and the McRib are both high on that list ...
... and rounding out the list at number three -- Meghan Markle is basically the only royal worth caring about.
Sure, the Netflix series The Crown might have led to a renewal of American interest in the British Royal Family.
But for many viewers on this side of the pond, it also confirmed that the Windsors are a cold, unfeeling bunch with a disturbing tendency to chew up and spit out the unfortunate young commoners who marry into the clan.
The Queen and company seem to have a special affinity to cruelty toward young women who become their in-laws.
A sort of hazing process takes place when a Princess Diana or a Sarah Ferguson joins the family, and there's a tendency among royals and their supporters to judge these women by how well they adapt to the many cruel restraints of royal life.
Some British citizens seem to agree that this is part of the pact of mutual suffering between commoners and royals:
The figureheads get to live lives of lavish taxpayer-supported luxury, but they must demonmstrate their commitment to the facade of British refinement by living the lives of well-dressed wax figures, devoid of emotion and humanity.
They must, in the words of a former prime minister "never complain and never explain."
By those standards, Meghan was a failure as a duchess -- she was much too human, too much of a mother, and, of course, too American.
(Obviously, much of the vitriol directed at Meghan is also racially-motivated, but we'll save that conversation for another time.)
Presumably for that reason, multiple polls have shown that, among Brits, Kate is much more popular than Meghan.
The most recent was conducted by British tabloid The Express, which reported in October that Kate is roughly 25 percent more well-liked in the UK than Meghan.
(A whopping 31 percent of those polled stated that Kate was their favorite royal, while a paltry 6 percent chose Meghan.)
Asked for the reason behind their decision, repondents gave vague responses about Kate's "class" and "elegance."
“I also admire her commitment because I can imagine how it must be difficult to embrace such duties and a public life," one person said.
If you ever needed proof for the stereotype that Brits are more reserved and soft-spoken than Americans in expressing their opinions, here it is.
Clearly, many UK residents are infuriated by the fact that Meghan and Harry moved to America and failed to "embrace their duties," but they mask that hostility behind veiled comments about Kate's "regal qualities."
Perhaps they're aware that Meghan and Harry's move might prove to be the nail in the coffin for the lumbering dinosaur of an institution that is the British family.
But if that's the case, they should be thanking the Sussexes, as the Royals cost British taxpayers an estimated $86 million in 2019.
But our guess would be that most of the British Meghan-haters just can't quite put their finger on why they dislike her so much, in the same way that American bigots have trouble articulating their reasons for objecting to BLM protests.
Of course, some of the respondents are probably just diehard traditionalists who resent Meghan for advocating for change and progress.
After all, according to the Express poll, the most-beloved royal -- the one who beat out both Kate and Meghan by a considerablke margin -- is none other than Queen Elizabeth II.