Brittany Walker: David Eason Cheated on Jenelle Evans, And His Penis Is the Size of a Vienna Sausage!

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Ever since Jenelle Evans got back together with David Eason, it's been one disaster after another on The Land.

And we'd be lying if we said we don't find the whole mess gloriously entertaining!

Jenelle and David Sittin' on a Porch

The latest kerfuffle involves Brittany Walker, the woman that David hooked up with while he and Jenelle were separated last year.

Perhaps innocently, or perhaps knowing it would drive David and Jenelle literally insane, Walker is now back in the picture.

At least online, she literally posted a picture. Brittany recently shared the following throwback from her and David's fling.

David Eason and Britt Walker

Naturally, Jenelle and David both lost their freakin' minds over this, as they do when they're presented with any sort of obstacle.

But the meltdown was even more severe than expected in this case, and morever, they may have gotten more than they bargained for.

It looks like the Easons may have finally met their match in Brittany Walker.

Jenelle Evans Oiled Up

When Britt posted her pics, Jenelle immediately lost it and it started accusing her of being a Teen Mom groupie.

As in, a fangirl who seeks out and wants to get with anyone on the show, a la Amber Portwood's ex, Matt Baier.

"This chick has also hung out with Andrew Glennon," Jenelle alleged with no evidence to support her claim.

The Carolina Hurricane went on to claim that Britt "even tried getting with Nathan [Griffith] before hitting up David."

Jenelle hilariously posted, "Trying to get me upset, it's not working" ... before losing her sh-t even more severely.

"If you're so 'in love' then leave the past in the past and go show your attention to your HUSBAND," she wrote to Britt.

Jenelle v Britt 5

But if you thought Jenelle's reaction to this mess was over the top, wait until you get a load of David's!

As Brittany revealed on her Instagram page, David contacted her and threatened her with a lawsuit.

Basically, Dave Eason is the ultimate Karen.

The tone of his empty threat brings to mind the incident in which Dave informed some random photographer that he would be "harrested" outside of a North Carolina courthouse (above).

We didn't think it was humanly possible, but this situation is even funnier.

David brutally roasts himself repeatedly during his chat with Walker.

David Eason Mugshot

First, Brittany tried to get David to leave her alone by informing him that she needs to study.

(Something he surely knows nothing about).

"While you study, keep in mind the $75k I'm about to sue you for," he wrote.

David v Britt

"Lol you probably need it when u didn't even have gas money to get home," Walker responded, instantly attaining queen status.

From there, David threatened to sue Britt for slander for ... saying she saw his penis?

Britt dismissed David as a money-hungry liar, which he clearly is, and he proceeded to prove her right by laying out his case as though he's already in court.

David, Britt

(Generally, if you actually have a case against someone, you just sue them, and you don't waste any time threatening to sue them.)

"I got you on slander $25k, defamation $25k, lost wages (due to reputation damage) $25k," he wrote.

As though the idea of David having a salary or a reputation weren't funny enough, he went on to reveal that he's not exactly packing a bratwurst in those Wranglers.

David Eason Stupid

"You are the one who said my penis resembles a vienna sausage," David wrote.

"You will be held responsible for that."

We assume that somewhere, Brittany is still laughing hysterically, having received the most hilarious message ever sent over the internet.

David Eason on His Gram

As many have pointed out David was recently accused of pistol-whipping a friend of Jenelle's, and he could be facing jail time.

And yet, he seems more upset about the Vienna sausage remark than the possibility of getting locked up.

Hell, people have accused David of abusing his children, wife, and pets and he didn't even get this upset!

Jenelle and Dave Eason

We're thinking Britt may have touched on a sensitive spot - and based on her description, it sounds like it wasn't easy to find!

At press time, Jenelle has yet to threaten any legal action herself, or comment on any Vienna sausage comparisons.

Give it time.

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