Monday night's episode of The Bachelor was almost as long as Sunday night's Super Bowl, but the commercials were far less entertaining, and there no twerk-fest at the halfway point, so we don't blame you if you didn't stay tuned for the entire 3-hour sob-fest.
For those who missed it -- well, you probably won't be all that surprised by what you missed.
Kelsey cried, Tammy schemed, and Victoria Fuller got caught up in yet another scandal.
Things started off promisingly enough with the raciest group date of the season.
In the a jungle oasis straight from the pages of National Geographic, Peter and the ladies stripped down to their swimwear for a Costa Rican photo shoot.
The contestant who demonstrated the greatest talent as a model would be featured alongside Player Pete on the digital cover of an upcoming issue of Cosmo.
(The "digital" part was conveniently left out of Monday's episode, but that's one of the least manipulative tricks Bachelor producers have pulled this season.)
Appropriately, Victoria emerged victorious, but like Bernie Sanders in Iowa, her triumph has been marred by controversy.
Cosmo editor Jessica Pels appeared on the episode, and as the episode aired, she published an article in which she explained her decision not to publish a digital cover featuring the always-controversial Victoria.
"As you probably know, the details about upcoming plot points on The Bachelor are as closely guarded as nuclear codes," Pels wrote.
"When my team and I flew down to Costa Rica for our challenge, we weren't told who our models were going to be. We didn't even meet them until we were all on camera on-set, ready to start our shoot," she added.
“So when it came time for me to choose the winner of the challenge—whose prize was a digital cover of Cosmo—all I knew about the contestants were their first names and the energy they conveyed through the camera lens,” Pels continued.
“It wasn’t until a few weeks ago that I found out that the woman I’d chosen had, in her past, modeled in an ad campaign wearing White Lives Matter attire.”
Yes, last month, a photo of Fuller wearing a White Lives Matter hat sparked a scandal among fans.
The pic was part of an ad campaign promoting the conservation of white marlin (Victoria also wore a shirt reading "Blue Lives Matter" for blue marlin), but the joke didn't sit well with some people, including, apparently, Pels.
“My team and I had many long discussions about how we wanted to address this issue. We’d already printed the fashion shoot in our March issue, complete with an inset of the cover, and of course, the episode had already been filmed,” Pels concluded.
“Ultimately what felt right was choosing not to publish the digital cover on our website or social feeds, and simply being honest with you, the audience we respect, about what happened and where we stand.”
If you're keeping score at home, the Cosmo ordeal is the fourth Victoria Fuller-related scandal of the season.
Some of them, such as Victoria's relationship with country singer Chase Rice have been featured on the show.
Others, such as the allegation that Fuller broke up her friends' marriages will be
The crazy part is, during her time on camera, Victoria has actually come across as one of the more stable and well-adjusted contestants.
We guess we should have believed Chris Harrison when he said Fuller effs up Peter's entire season.
The guy is just so prone to exaggeration that it's hard to take him seriously sometimes.