On last week’s episode of Jersey Shore: Family Vacation, most of the focus was on Mike Sorrentino’s ongoing legal issues.
That makes sense, of course — after all, reality TV doesn’t get much more intense than a major cast member getting sentenced to 24 months in prison.
(Mike’s sentence was later reduced, and he’ll probably be released in September, having served just 8 months.)
But there was drama to be found elsewhere in the two-part Shore season premiere, as well.
For starters, Jenni Farley opened up about her son Greyson’s medical issues with a heartbreaking story about his various struggles.
And of course, it wouldn’t be an episode of Jersey Shore without at least a hint of Ronnie Ortiz-Magro relationship drama.
This time, it happened off camera, and Ronnie changed the topic as quickly as possible, but it wasn’t hard to piece together what really happened.
As you may recall, Ronnie was late meeting up with the rest of the crew for Mike’s sentencing, and when he finally showed up, he explained that he had gotten jumped in Secaucus, New Jersey the previous night.
Magro told an unusual story about two men attacking him from behind, seemingly unprovoked.
His injuries didn’t appear to align with his account of the attack, and the rest of the cast had questions from the very start.
“I’m not trying to put any words in anybody’s mouth, but who knows? Maybe Ron and Jen got into a fight. He says he got jumped. Who knows?” Deena Nicole Cortese asked.
“Who gets scratched by a guy? That doesn’t happen. You get scratched by a girl," Pauly D seconded.
"He says they hit him in the back of the head and he has a black eye. The story is fishy, but who really knows? He says that he didn’t see anybody. It just doesn’t add up."
Jen has assaulted Ronnie on numerous occasions, and the incidents have often resulted in injuries for him and handcuffs for her.
So it makes sense that the guidos would take issue with his account.
We might be inclined to give him the benefit of the doubt, were it not for the fact that Ron never filed a police report about the incident, and staff at the restaurant where he was allegedly attacked say his story is complete BS.
According to Magro, he was attacked by a random group of haters in the parking lot of Lorenzo’s Italian Bar and Restaurant on October 4 of last year.
An employee of the restaurant refutes Ronnie’s claim that he was there with two women (which apparently angered his attackers).
The informant also claims Ron and Jen left the restaurant and walked to his car without incident:
“They were there maybe 15, tops, 20 minutes. They both walked out together. Everybody watched them leave the establishment together," says Lorenzo’s staffer Erin Kaye.
"That story is completely fabricated that he said on TV. There was no one there to even jump him, the place was deserted that night,” the source continued in a conversation with Radar Online.
So did Ronnie make up the part about having two girls with him just to look cool?
If so, the fact that he has to lie to protect his abusive partner is still super sad, but the two women part is "you don’t know my model girlfriend because she goes to a different school"-level hilarious.
All kidding aside, of course, if Ron feels the need to lie to his best friends to hide yet another assault at the hands of Harley then the situation is sad with the potential to become tragic.
If this relationship is as unhealthy as it appears to be, we encourage Ronnie to end it as quickly as possible.
If not for his own sake, then for the health and happiness of his daughter with Harley.
"Staying together for the kids" is almost always an awful idea.