I can't wait to find a guy to raise your child the way you can't.
This is what Jen Harley texted Ronnie on the latest episode of Jersey Shore, as tension continued to mount between the volatile couple and viewers watched it all unfold in awkward agony.
Just when you thought things between them would be calm and normal...
Wait, what's that? You never thought things between them would be calm and normal? Fair enough.
But how did they get out of hand this time around?
Take a deep breath, pity their poor young daughter and scroll down to find out:
I've Made a Huge Mistake
"There goes my life. Nothing about this is good. Nothing good can came from this ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever. Ever." Ronnie told himself as he took a shower early in the episode with the woman known as Jewish Barbie in his bed,.
Really? He Didn't Sleep with Her?
No, not based on the footage we saw. Ron Ron left the bathroom and went downstairs to smoke a cigarette on the porch. By this point, it was already morning and he continued to get text messages from Harley.
It Was All Innocent
Ronnie eventually made his way upstairs to where Angelina and JWoww were just waking up. Jewish Barbie had gotten into Angelina's bed and told her Ronnie was very sweet to her and didn't make any sort of move on her.
Ron Ron for the Win Win!
"I'm actually shocked. Ron is grown up," JWoww replied when she was told nothing sexual transpired.
Did Ronnie Sleep at All, Though?
Nope, he told Angelina, explaining himself as follows: "Dealin' with drama. Apparently, I'm single 'cause she's crazy. She's very disrespectful, telling me, 'I can't wait to find a guy to raise your child the way you can't.' Sending me screenshots of f--king Sam and her new boyfriend, saying, 'That's how happy I'm gonna be next year when I find somebody.' Super disrespectful."
She Really Brought Up Giancola? And Said All That?
Yes, although we never saw the messages. After Ronnie got Jewish Barbie into a cab, he continued his chat with Angelina. "She was saying f-cked up shit," he told her. "She tries to say anything that she knows will really hurt me. She knows how I feel about the baby, so she knows the second she says something like that, I get like..."
Jen is Just Being Jen
"Why would she send you pictures of Sam with her boyfriend?" Angelina interrupted. "That's like hitting low. Real low." (Yes, she's crazy, remember!)
I've Had It!
"I'm not gonna stay with someone who says, 'I'm gonna find the guy that's gonna raise your daughter better than you,'" Ronnie said during this conversation. Except that... well...
... He Has Stayed with Her
Ronnie slept the entire day and night away after this drama, refusing to even come down and join his pals for dinner.
Talking All About Ronnie
Naturally, Ronnie's relationship was the topic du jour at this meal, with Pauly D joking: "I would do anything for a Ron and Sam fight right now."
More Importantly, However?
Snooki and The Situation argued over what to call Taylor Ham and Taylor Pork Roll. Snooki said they call it "Taylor Ham" in North Jersey, while The Situation claimed that it was called a "Pork Roll." This debate got heated.
Elsewhere This on the Episode...
Angelina said her grandmother was a psychic and she predicted that Jwoww would divorce Roger Mathews, a forecast that has actually come true. Eerie!
"I mean, I always talk about it," Jenni said "When do I not say that?" Snooki then jumped in with: "Bitch, you get a 'divorce' like every f-cking week. That's what I'm saying. Welcome to relationships
We close with little hope for Angelina and her fiance, Chris. This is because Pauly D took notice of his ex-lover's large books during dinner -- and Angelina was psyched!
Angelina Pivarnick in a Cap
"My fiance's the king of the garbage men," she told Jenni after saying she was "ecstatic" that "the king" (read: Pauly) had noticed her "enormous breasts."
So Much for That Romance
Angelina "might as well go on to her fourth engagement 'cause this shit ain't gonna last," said Jenni during a confessional.