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Hard to believe, but it’s been two months since Meghan Markle gave birth to baby Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor.

(His name is also a bit difficult to fathom, but we’ll leave that conversation for another time.)

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From the start of their relationship, of course, Meghan and Prince Harry have made it clear that they intend to break with royal tradition in a number of small but significant ways.

So it’s no surprise that Meghan has been accused of breaching royal protocol with her etiquette, her attire, her tendency to breathe in and out without muttering "God save the Queen" with each exhalation, etc.

And it’s also not shocking that the British media is wagging its collective finger at Harry and Meg for allegedly acting more like a Hollywood couple than a duke and duchess with regard to little Archie.

First, they took flak for making Archie’s christening a private affair, with just a few select members of the press on hand.

Harry and Meghan and Archie

Harry “is acting like an A-lister over Archie’s christening, not a royal," claims royal biographer Peggy Junor, adding:

“I think they have made a big mistake that could backfire on them."

Now, a new non-existent crisis has captured the attention of the tabloid press, as reporters were shocked — shocked! — to learn that Archie had zero interaction with Prince William and Kate Middleton’s kids for the first two months of his life.

Yes, this tidbit was revealed to The Daily Mail, when royal correspondent Emily Andrews revealed that Archie met his cousins for the first time at a recent polo match:

Archie Harrison

"It was interesting actually, that polo match, because it was the first time that Charlotte and George had actually met Archie," Andrews told the Mail.

"They hadn’t actually met him for two months, so that polo match was lovely."

But before you go getting your knickers in a twist about Meghan keeping Archie from her in-laws (aka, the narrative that Piers Morgan will probably be flapping his jowls about on Good Morning Britain tomorrow), you should note that it’s only the kids who went that long without seeing Archie:

"Yes Kate and Will had been there to see Archie at Frogmore Cottage, but they hadn’t taken their children with them," Andrews said.

Archie Harrison Mountbatten-Windsor

"So that was the moment at the polo match where all three of the Cambridge kids got to meet Archie."

So there you have it.

The jury’s still out with regard to whether or not Meghan and Harry moved to Frogmore Cottage to get away from Will and Kate, but at least we know they’re not keeping their kid from his royal cousins.

So save your weak-ass "think of the children!" takes for next time, Piers!