We may know who wins the final rose thanks to The Bachelorette spoilers, but nothing could've prepared us for this drama.
Things have turned rather personal between Jean Blanc and Colton Underwood. Like, very, very, very, very, VERY personal.
At this point, we should likely state that the rest of this post may not be safe for work or for young children...
Both Blanc and Underwood competed on Season 14 of The Bachelorette, vying for the heart of star Becca Kufrin.
Both advanced far enough and made enough of an impression with their personalities to have been featured last Monday night on the Men Tell All special.
At one point on this special episode, Blanc was called to the sofa alongside Kufrin and placed on the hot seat by handsome host Chris Harrison.
It didn't take long for things to escalate from here, as ABC was forced to censor most of the back-and-forth between Blanc on the couch and Underwood from a spot in the crowd.
Did Underwood really tell Blanc to "shut the f-ck up," as it sounded like to those of us watching at home?
Dod Blanc really respond by slamming Colton as a "pussy" and making a remark about his well-publicized virginity in the process?
Not according to Jean Blanc at least.
"Colton called me [a pussy.] His negative energy was directed towards me, and it made me feel very uncomfortable," the scorned suitor told Life & Style this week, adding:
"On the show, I was shocked and disappointed by the vulgarity and level of aggression by Colton. He is desperate to become the next Bachelor and is doing everything he can to maintain relevancy. It's sad."
The possibility of Underwood as The Bachelor isn't far-fetched, that's for sure.
The series has never featured a virgin before and there's no doubt such a unique trait would be marketable to the network.
Added Jean Blanc in this interview:
"The real version of what occurred was Colton attacking me, and me repeating what was uttered."
Underwood has spoken at length about his decision to not yet have slipped his penis inside of a woman's vagina.
But that's exactly what it has been, he's emphasized, a decision... until the right person comes along.
Blanc, however, says something else.
"Nothing I am saying is inaccurate," Jean told the aforementioned tabloid, adding in juicy detail he swears to be true:
"What was the reason he was a virgin?"
"Because he is waiting for the right one? Colton told me he has a micropenis, I think that’s the reason why Colton is a virgin."
"Him attacking me is a reflection of his 'insecurities' like he said on the show and it's disappointing to hear that."
Having a micropenis is a legitimate medical condition.
It refers to a man possessing an unusually small penis, with the common criterion being a dorsal (measured on top) erect penile length of at least 2.5 standard deviations smaller than the mean human penis size and...
... wait, WHAT?!?
Blanc wants us to believe that Underwood willingly offered up this information to him?
We may need to call BS on this claim.
(Which we say with no judgment to any virgin or anyone with a micropenis. Respect all around. We simply do not believe what Jean Blanc is saying here.)
In terms of his virginity, Colton has said the following on this Men Tell All Special:
"I hope that at least I started a dialogue and I started a conversation in which they can understand what makes me, me...
"I'm not here to prove a point. I'm not here to defend myself, I'm not here to say I'm better than anybody else...
"What I am here to do is be true to who I am, and The Bachelorette has helped me do that... This has been so good for me and so therapeutic for me."
As for who WINS The Bachelorette?
Come on. You know the answer to that.
Still, follow the link for our section of Bachelorette spoilers to find out for sure, along with all the juicy details.