If you know anything about Farrah Abraham, then you know that she’s very possibly the hottest mess to ever live.
Like, among ladies that have been arrested for domestic violence, neglected their children, and done heroin on national television, Farrah is widely considered to be the worst cast member in Teen Mom history.
Not only is she considered to be the worst cast member, but she’s also the first person to ever be fired from the show.
The only other person who’s been cut loose from the Teen Mom money train has been David Eason, after his horrific homophobic rant.
That really says something, you know, that Farrah’s right there with David as the only people to be fired from Teen Mom.
And what it says is not good.
While Farrah is just about as messy as they come, she’s actually had a somewhat normal dating history.
She’s the only person on Teen Mom that hasn’t gone on to have a second baby, which is commendable, and honestly, she really hasn’t dated around all that much, either.
There were a few boyfriends in early seasons, and Simon Saran managed to stick around for a couple of years.
After breaking up with Simon for good last year, she remained single for a while, though we did find out recently that she’d made herself a profile on Bumble.
Oh, and she did date that guy, Aden Stay, for about three seconds earlier this month.
A few days ago, she made a statement about that breakup, explaining that she needs "to watch whom I date as many men target me for my success."
"I’m focused on work right now, between TV and film projects."
"I wish him well," she added, "but I’m not rushing into relationships. I like to take my time to do it right for myself and for my daughter."
"Being the best parent I can be is my priority."
So it sounds like she thinks Aden used her for her fame and debatable fortune, right?
If that’s a problem for her while looking for love, there’s an easy solution: date men who already have fame and fortune.
Enter Zac Efron!
Farrah’s mother, Debra Danielsen, did an interview with In Touch this week, and she had a whole lot of thoughts about what her daughter’s next move should be.
"I kind of sit down and put together a list of who I thought would be cool people for Farrah to try to date or connect with, even as just friends," she explained.
"I like Zac Efron, I think he’s more Farrah’s vibe, and Jef Holm. She needs somebody young and fun who has a career and potential — someone who can relate to her better."
It kind of would make sense for Farrah to go after another reality star, so someone like The Bachelorette’s Jef Holm might not be too crazy, but Zac Efron?!
It only gets wilder though, because Deb also thinks that Kenny Chesney and Jake Gyllenhaal could be good matches for Farrah.
"These four guys are all kind of guys that I think with their personalities, interests in life, and careers, have commonalities there with Farrah’s background and where she’s going, what she’s doing," she said.
"These are guys that can be a blessing in her life instead of a ball and chain in her life."
Well, at least now we know we’re Farrah gets her delusional side from!
(Just kidding, we’ve known for years where she got it from — Debra has never exactly been stable.)
To think that Zac Efron or Kenny Chesney or Jake Gyllenhaal would date Farrah Abraham is just … is there even a word for how wild of a thought that is?
Could you imagine? Like, could you honestly even sit down and imagine it?
Have fun with your fan fiction, Deb. Hope to see you over here in reality some day.