Tom Schwartz to Scheana Marie: Sorry I Got Drunk & Called You a Bootleg Kardashian!

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Tom Schwartz is inarguably the least confrontational member of the Vanderpump Rules cast.

He really only fights with his wife, Katie Maloney, and only then when he's full of liquor, or she's telling the entire world that his penis doesn't function properly.

Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz on WWHL

So viewers were stunned when Tom went on the offensive against Scheana during a boozy gathering of SUR staffers.

It all started when Scheana went off on Katie for continuing to claim that spread rumors about Robert Valletta cheating on her.

When Scheana called Katie fake, Schwartz jumped in with what was actually a pretty solid burn, especially coming from such a mild-mannered dude:

"Scheana, look at your nails! You're the fakest person in this whole building!" he slurred.

"You're fake from head to toe. You have no personality. You're nothing! You're a bootleg Kardashian. All you care about is a f-cking selfie."

Scheana

"Bootleg Kardashian" cuts pretty deep.

As those who watch Vanderpump Rules online know, the ladies have long been accused of thinking they're on the Kardashians level.

They're not, of course - even though their show is far more entertaining - so it probably stung to be reminded of that during filming.

Tom was applauded for sticking up for his wife, but many thought he was too hard on Scheana.

Not surprisingly, Schwartz returned to his soft-spoken, retiring self when he sobered up the next morning.

Katie Maloney and Tom Schwartz Selfie

Appearing on Andy Cohen's Watch What Happens Live this week, Tom was asked if he regretted going off on Scheana.

He didn't try to make excuses, but admitted that there was indeed some serious morning-after remorse.

"In the moment, I didn't, but the day after, I felt terrible. Like I said before, I'm so sorry, Scheana," he told the caller.

"Can I just say, I've never exercised that muscle."

"It felt good in the moment, but I felt so bad the next morning," he told Cohen alongside wife Katie, who he was sticking up for during a recent SURver scuffle.

Clearly trying to make amends, Schwartz concluded:

"Scheana, I love you. I hope you have an empire just like them, and I'm sorry I said that shit."

Not quite as scandalous as Jax cheating on Brittany, but seeing Tom's aggressive side made for one of the season's most surprising moments.

Which is saying something, as this season has been loaded with stunners.

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