Is there a specific German word for the feeling of righteous glee that one feels when remembering that Abby Lee Miller is going to prison? Because we'd have cause to use it pretty regularly.
Until she actually goes to prison, anyway. Which is tomorrow.
But we have some new information, and it's about where she's going to serve her sentence. And it's not exactly what the world expected.
Abby Lee Miller, the Dance Moms star who traumatized her students for years, was convicted of bankruptcy fraud in Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania.
Normally, you'd assume that the location of her conviction would determine where she serves out her sentence.
We don't know if this is fame working for her or how white collar crimes are treated or white privilege in action, but Abby Lee Miller requested to be sentenced somewhere else.
(You know, like prison is a hotel and you can just ask for a different room)
And her request was granted.
On 2pm on Wednesday, she must report to the FCI Victorville facility in Victorville, California to begin serving her sentence of 366 days.
Abby Lee Miller will serve a sentence close to her home in San Bernardino.
You know, because she asked.
The drive from Victorville to San Bernardino is about 40 miles.
With speed limits being what they are, she's less than an hour from home.
We can't help but think of how many people are in prison who didn't do anything wrong.
(Some who are innocent, and others who committed crimes but no wrongdoings, like people convicted of drug possession)
Some of those people have children and spouses and loved ones who never get to see them.
Because they're imprisoned three hours away, and most single parents work and can't take six hours plus a visit out of a day, let alone put their young child through that.
Meanwhile, Abby Lee Miller is going to be practically a stone's throw from her house.
The world is terribly unfair.
By all reports, Abby Lee Miller is terrified about entering prison.
First of all, who wouldn't be?
But she's probably going to a facility for white collar criminals, so we really shouldn't imagine an Orange is the New Black setting.
The FCI Victorville II facility houses under 2,000 inmates, so population-wise, it's like a small high school.
It's a medium-security facility, so it might not feel like a summer camp for the inmates.
But there are certainly less pleasant prisons out there, even in the US.
And since she apparently did the crime and doesn't even have to do a lot of time, it's weird that she's out there complaining about how scared she is.
Especially when she got to cherry-pick where she'd get locked up.
She might be "rattled" by all of this (and most people would be), but it doesn't look like this has changed anything about the reality show monster.
Abby Lee Miller still responds to criticism by lashing out, recently telling Cheryl Burke to "watch her mouth."
The world enjoyed watching her cry in the newest Dance Moms promo.
But for the little girls whom she terrorized for years and years, that must have been positively cathartic.
And the girls is really where our focus should be.
Maybe now that they're out from under Abby's tyrannical rule, the aspiring dancers and their ridiculous mothers can be the stars oi the show.