Donald Trump may have very small hands, but he has many big, important and challenging responsibilities as President of the United States.
And he didn't see any of them coming!
In an interview with Reuters meant to reflect on the first 100 days of his Presidency, Trump remarked that he sort of wishes he were NOT actually President.
(Editor's Note: This is the first time in those 100 or so days that a majority of the country agrees with Trump.)
"I loved my previous life. I had so many things going," Trump told reporters Stephen J. Adler, Jeff Mason and Steve Holland, adding:
"This is more work than in my previous life. I thought it would be easier."
Such a statement does not need extra commentary or further quips; it speaks for itself.
But it's still worth noting (with eyeballs popping out of their sockets and jaws dropped violently to the floor) that Donald Trump thought being leader of the free would would be less work that hosting Celebrity Apprentice.
This is somehow the least surprising and most surprising thing he's said yet.
Melania tries to stay THIS far away from me at all times. At minimum. Can you blame her?!?
During this interview, Trump remained focused on his November victory over Hillary Clinton, even handing those present copies of the electoral map.
“It’s pretty good, right? The red is obviously us," Trump said of his 300-plus electoral votes.
His defeat of Clinton was likely the most stunning upset in the history of American politics.
Trump, meanwhile, has been famous for decades.
He told Reuters that he grew accustomed to not having privacy in his "old life," yet expressed surprise at how little of it he has now.
Due to the constant presence of the Secret Service, "you're really into your own little cocoon," he said, lamenting that "you can't really go anywhere."
Critics, of course, will note that this isn't true... considering Trump has gone to his private club in Florida nearly every weekend since taking office.
Still, just because Trump plays golf as frequently as possible, this doesn't mean he has the sort of freedom he desires.
"I like to drive," he says. "I can't drive any more."
Seriously, who dared to say during the election that Trump doesn't know anything about sacrifice?!?
But while it's easy to joke about Trump and to shake one's head over how in over his head the guy clearly is, the wide-ranging interview also covered the President's meeting with the Chinese president Xi Jinping and the tense situation with North Korea.
In other words: it got serious... and Trump's take on North Korea got very scary very quickly.
"There is a chance that we could end up having a major, major conflict with North Korea. Absolutely," he said, adding of the unstable nation, which continues to test nuclear missiles:
"We'd love to solve things diplomatically, but it's very difficult."
God help us all.