Great news, fellow lovers of trashy memoirs: we're getting a brand new look inside the Playboy Mansion!
Like Kendra Wilkinson, Holly Madison, and several other poor souls before her, a woman named Malorie Mackey has written a tell-all about her time with Hugh Hefner.
If you're finding yourself going "Malorie who?", there's a reason for that: unlike Kendra and Holly, Malorie never dated Hugh Hefner, and she never posed for Playboy either.
Nope, she's just an actress/model who found herself spending a large amount of time at the Mansion, fully clothed and uninvited to the orgies.
But still, she's got quite the story to tell.
To promote her new book, My Playboy Story: Hopping from Richmond to Hollywood, Malorie did an in-depth interview with Radar Online in which she shared several stories.
Grab some popcorn, y'all, because you know this is going to get good.
Malorie first began spending time at the Playboy Mansion in 2011, which was after Holly left but before Hugh married Crystal Harris.
She acknowledged Holly's horror stories about the Mansion, saying "Holly lived there with seven other girls, I think for her when you have that many girls living together and you can't leave, it creates drama and they don't all like each other."
Saying that the situation Holly lived with "creates drama" is probably the understatement of the century, but Malorie says that her experience wasn't at all like that.
"It was like a family," she said. "Hef is really kind, respectful. He's very intelligent but he can be very quiet."
"But it was wonderful getting to know him, having him invite me into that lifestyle."
All that being said, it's not like she's trying to say that life at Hugh Hefner's place is 100% G-rated fun -- "I'm sure people did drugs at parties," she admitted, "but I didn't see it."
"We went swimming in the pool, in the Grotto many times," she added, "but I didn't ever go skinny dipping. I'm a prude. I really am the girl next door."
Malorie also discussed Crystal Harris. She arrived at the Mansion just before Crystal left Hugh right before their wedding, and she recalled that "Everything changed. People were really upset by it."
She said that Hugh was "surprised and put off" by Crystal running away, but "he said it was better that she left ahead of time instead of having him marry her and be in a bad situation."
After Crystal left, Hugh got a new girlfriend, and the parties started heating up again because "they weren't intimidated" by his future wife.
But, as we all know, Crystal came back to marry Hef. And so it was the end of an era.
"I had a friendship with Crystal," Malorie explained, "but she has a hard time getting close with people. I was removed from the list for the Mansion movie nights and parties."
"But I was OK with it because I had a really great time and I really appreciate my time there."
As for Hef's widely rumored failing health -- which, to be fair, the man turns 91 next month and he's led a pretty active life, so to speak," she said that he was "definitely fading a little bit" by the time she left the Mansion in 2013.
"We used to go out to the game house, by the pool, but he stopped coming out as much. He would stay in the library. He started being a little less mobile."
"Recently, he's not doing so well. We've all been hearing that for a while."
But hey, health bummers aside, will you be picking up Malorie's book?