This is not a joke. Somehow, someway, this is really happening.
Jon Gosselin is going to be a stripper.
If you need to take a moment to clutch your pearls or take some calming breaths or to just laugh and laugh about how Kate Gosselin could possibly be reacting to this news, that's fine.
Take your time.
OK, now let's get into the details.
On April 1st, in Dusk Nightclub in Atlantic City, Jon will get on stage and strip down in a show called Untamed Male Revue. And we know all that because of this handy little poster he's been sharing on Twitter:
And we know, we know, all this is supposed to go down on April Fool's Day. But, fittingly enough, April Fool's Day is also Jon's birthday -- his 40th birthday, to be exact.
So maybe he's just choosing to celebrate his special day in a special way. It's possible.
Sources tell TMZ that Jon is actually friends with the people running the show, which is how he got involved.
And, fortunately (or unfortunately? Depends on what you're into, we guess), Jon won't be getting totally nude on stage. He'll be leaving his underwear on.
Sources also said that Jon's show will be more of a Magic Mike type of show, which apparently means more dancing and less "hump your face" action.
In the weeks leading up to the show, he's been doing a lot of rehearsing, and he's even been working out, trying to get that old bod of his into decent shape for his big day.
But while there's all this information circulating about, and while people are insisting it's not a joke, it seems important to note that in his Twitter post promoting the event, he wrote "Check it out, my big debut ... ?"
Not the most confident announcement ever, right?
So there's a chance that it still could be a joke, or maybe Jon is just doing another DJ gig for the real strippers to get down to.
Or maybe all of our dreams/nightmares are coming true, and Jon Gosselin really is becoming a stripper.
What a world. What. A. World.