Kate Middleton just cannot catch a break.
She can't catch one with all those endless reports about how she's the laziest royal in history, but lately she's been the subject of a whole bunch of rumors about her health.
If we're to believe the tabloids, Kate is suffering from bulimia.
Just yesterday, we discussed some new claims from the National Enquirer: claims about how the eating disorder knocked Kate, who is 5'9", down to just 89 pounds.
If we're to believe the Enquirer, Kate's illness can be proved by just one photo of the duchess with a bandage on her finger.
"What does that even mean?" you might be wondering. "How can a bandage on a finger prove that she's bulimic?"
Well, settle in, friends, because some doctor just ran his mouth to Radar and explained the whole dang thing.
Dr. Stuart Fischer explains that "It's very common for women who suffer from bulimia to have cuts on their fingers and hands because they're inducing vomiting, they are putting their fingers down their throat and will bite down on their fingers and knuckles."
The good doctor continues by saying that "It's highly suspicious that she is wearing band-aids on her hands so frequently."
"It's extremely unlikely she would be injured repetitively in these places on her hands. Kate would have to be a carpenter or someone opening oysters or claims for a living!"
Well, many people would say that Kate does literally nothing ever for a living, so that can't be it.
But still, it seems like quite the conclusion to jump to, especially for a doctor, someone who knows how serious bulimia can be.
And he does know -- he says that "It's a frightful and damaging way to lose weight."
"She's got the best chefs in Europe," he exclaims.
"She might feel immense pressure under the spotlight but it's better than being under the ground in Westminster Abbey!"
Way to take it to a dark place, buddy.
While it's true that Kate does have bandages on her fingers somewhat frequently -- if you check out those three photos above, she's wearing them in the first two, and her thumb appears to be cut in the third -- that doesn't mean she's bulimic.
Maybe she likes to cook but isn't that great at it. Maybe she has countless other hobbies that could hurt her fingers.
Or maybe little Charlotte is a biter. We don't know.
The point is that yes, Kate is very thin, but she's always been very thin. Sometimes that's just how bodies are built.
Just because she's slim and rocks a band-aid from time to time doesn't mean she has an eating disorder, and it feels weird that we even have to say that.