After a relatively quiet period during which she all but disappeared from the tabloids, Lindsay Lohan is back and messier than ever.
It all started when Lindsay hinted that she was pregnant during a late night social media rant.
In the same tirade, LiLo accused her fiance, Egor Tarabasov, of cheating on her with a "Russian hooker."
Shortly thereafter, Lohan's father confirmed that she was pregnant, and the world attempted to wrap its head around the idea of Lindsay freakin' Lohan as a mother.
The next day, photos of Lohan smoking emerged and the reaction online was mostly along the lines of, "Yeah, this is about how we thought this would go."
Fortunately, it seems that unlike Lindsay, we can all breathe easy.
The latest news out of Europe (where Lindsay's permanent vacation is still in full swing) is that the 30-year-old actress is not pregnant, and it also seems that she's no longer engaged.
The pregnancy denial comes from Hofit Golan, who is not, as her name would suggest a Star Wars hero, but rather Lindsay's bestie of the moment:
"We've been doing acupuncture, massage, stretching, drinking lots of green juice, exploring caves, fishing, swimming, just doing normal things," Golan told Us Weekly.
"Lindsay and I have known each other for years and she’s a very close friend; she's loyal and an amazing person. It's unfortunate that other people in her life — I'm not going to name names — are confirming she's pregnant, which she's not."
The tabloid also published a photo in which Lindsay is falling out of her dress and not wearing a wedding ring.
Like we said, interesting times in LiLo Land.
It's enough to make you wonder what she's mixing in all that green juice.