They say revenge is a dish best served cold.
If it weren't for the fact that it totally mangles the metaphor and basically makes no damn sense at all, we would amend that to "revenge is a dish best served piping hot on the cover of a tabloid!"
That's the new issue of Life & Style, and as you can see, Miranda is plotting some sort of vengeance against her ex and the new woman in his life.
Cue dramatic music and this dude:
And how will she have her revenge, you ask?
Sugar in their gas tanks?
Ordering a dozen pizzas to their house every day for the rest of their lives?
Launching a competing ska/pop band called Uncertainty?
The possibilities are endless, but it seems that Miranda subscribes to the theory that the best revenge is living well.
(Is it just us, or are there a lot quotes about revenge?)
A source tells L&S that the rumors about Miranda being pregnant with Anderson East's baby are 100% true, and she now feels that she's “outdone her ex and his new love when it comes to romance, career, fans and, in the biggest bombshell of all, baby news,”
Interesting fact: revenge babies grow up to be the most well-adjusted members of society.
Okay, we might've made that up.
But while it's certainly true that Lambert's latest single is a hit, it would be tough to argue that she's more popular or beloved by fans than Blake or Gwen.
However, the source says she's spot-on in her belief that it would drive Shelton nuts if she got knocked up by East:
“If [Miranda Lambert] starts a family with another man, it would have to make Blake’s blood boil,” claimed the source.
“His greatest wish was to have a baby with Miranda during their relationship. But now it’s Anderson by her side, and Miranda is thriving like never before. For Miranda, it’s the ultimate revenge at last.”
Meanwhile, it seems Shelton has yet to propose to Stefani for the simple reason that they're relationship isn't all smooth sailing these days.
“Blake and Gwen seem to be struggling on so many fronts. It really is a sweet revenge," says the insider.
Somewhere, Miranda is stroking a cat and cackling like a Bond villain.