Chad Johnson will not win JoJo Fletcher's heart. You don't need The Bachelorette spoilers to know that - he made it abundantly clear.
Still, one of the ABC show's all-time villains wasn't about to go quietly following his elimination last week. Chad would have his revenge.
Or at least make a steroid-laden fool of himself trying.
And that's not even all. A namesake bad boy from JoJo's past - Chad Rookstool - would wreak havoc with her journey for love as well!
Anyway, let's begin with the insane Chad Johnson.
Lurking around the guys' hotel room after JoJo sent him home, Chad eventually came in and the dudes asked him what went down.
"I guess she thinks I'm too intense or something," he said, before accusing the entire house of being against him and provoking him.
After some minor beefing with Jordan and then Evan, he eventually left, returning to Oklahoma to apparently pursue Hope Higgenbotham.
Seriously. Chad and Robby Hayes' ex are dating.
Speaking of Robby, he and Jordan Rodgers continue to look like the favorites, while JoJo booted James F. and Daniel at the rose ceremony.
Daniel's hilarious take after being eliminated: "She was obviously going for personality, and obviously my personality is f---ed."
"If this was based solely on looks? There's a good chance I would still be here. My body had nothing to do with this."
Pretty incredible, actual quote right there.
In South America, Jordan Rodgers told JoJo on their one-on-one date that he was totes falling in love with her. Her obvious response?
Mentioning that she met Jordan's ex and heard rumors that Rodgers may not be the best boyfriend in the history of human civilization.
Asked point blank if he cheated on Brittany Farrar, Jordan said he didn't "physically cheat" but was doing shady stuff. It was a gray area.
He admitted he was not a good partner, or man, at that time, but says he knows what kind of man he is now and that isn't a cheater.
That was good enough for JoJo, who is clearly in love with him and showed it by mauling him after Jordan's explanation passed muster.
Meanwhile, the new Chad drama was beginning.
Only this time, it was Chad Rookstool causing it!
SOMEHOW, SOME WAY, the guys got their hands on a tabloid in which Chad sold JoJo out, saying she went on the show for publicity.
Devastated, and in tears, JoJo decided she needed to confront the guys and make this right, which she did. They believed her, not Us Weekly.
At the end of the next group date, she decided to offer Derek the group date rose to offer him "reassurance." This did not go over well.
Later, JoJo and Robby Hayes spent a day exploring Uruguay, cliff jumping, swimming, making out, having deep talks and falling in love.
That was fast, but hey. When you know, you know?
Robby went on to tell JoJo that he is in love with her, she is his dream girl, and he ended a 3.5-year relationship to come on the show.
Burying the lede? Quite possibly. We'll find out.
She didn't return the L-word, but he did get a rose, while back at the house, Alex and Chase blasted Derek over the "reassurance" rose.
Derek then decided this was a good time to confront Alex, Chase and Jordan, whom he felt were being "cliquey" and excluding the other guys.
Pretty lame. Fortunately, Chris Harrison arrived.
There would be no cocktail party, only elimination time. Fletcher sent home Evan, Grant and Vinny, ALL of whom proceeded to cry.
After seeing her in that white dress, we get it.
That's all she wrote for this week. Follow the link to watch The Bachelorette online and see the drama play out for yourself in its entirety.