If you watched Vanderpump Rules Season 4 Episode 15 this week, then you learned that Lala Kent has a long-distance, football-playing friend with benefits referred to only as "Hayes" on camera.
Obviously, Lala doesn’t need any additional reason to reject the advances of douche king James Kennedy.
After all, the man’s every word and action is another piece of evidence that he might be the single most un-effable human on the planet whose name doesn’t start with "T" and end with "-ed Cruz."
Still, the fact that Lala made no effort to hide the fact that she’s gettin’ some on the side while regularly rejecting James’ tiny, ineffectual Brit-peen gave us a new respect for Vanderpump‘s newest cast member, and we couldn’t help but wonder about the identity of the lucky fella.
Fortunately, in a November interview with OK! Here’s the Situation, Lala revealed that her on-again, off-again dude is actually Jacksonville Jaguars linebacker Hayes Pullard.
To imagine what he looks like, just picture the complete polar opposite of James Kennedy.
Or check out the photo below:
And it’s not just in their appearances that Hayes and James couldn’t be more different.
Whereas James is a spoiled little wisp of a lad who always looks like he’s still brooding about being kicked out of Slytherin, Hayes and his nine siblings lost their father at a young age, and the loss helped drive him to work hard to stand out at as an athlete at Crenshaw High School and eventually earn a scholarship to USC.
Before being drafted to the NFL, Hayes wrote a heartfelt letter to the league, informing "coaches, general managers and fans" that he planned to push himself to the limit in order to be successful in the competitive world of professional football.
James, on the other hand, mopes when he doesn’t get enough praise for his ability to play records for drunk people.
Unfortunately, as we learned yesterday, Lala and James are still dating in real life.
Hopefully, she’ll eventually overcome her tragic case of douche-blindness and realize that Hayes is the way to go.
Watch Vanderpump Rules online to remind yourself of just how badly James sucks.