We can’t possibly let a week go by without declaring her with child(ren). Again.
OK Magazine! has it on good authority (where is the sh– emoji when you need it?) that the Duchess of Cambridge is carrying twins. In fact, they’re so certain of this news that they slapped another gold "Palace Confirms" sticker on it.
You know what they say about gold stickers and the truth.
"I’m having two girls!" the cover screams.
"William wants to name one Diana."
Catherine made William aware of the news with a sonogram. Via text.
“You’re joking aren’t you? We’re not really having a baby right now," William allegedly wrote back.
"It’s the early days, but the buzz in the royals’ inner circle is that Kate’s pregnant again,” some royal insider claims. “And this time she’s got not one but two buns in the oven!”
The Duke and his bride are picking up and moving out of Kensington Palace (their official residence) and firing the help.
“They’ve always sworn they didn’t want their children being raised by nannies,” the source said.
“And although they know that having twins will make it harder for them to handle the night feedings and diaper changes, they’ve vowed to do their best."
This time around, Catherine hasn’t experienced the crippling morning sickness she did with Prince George and Princess Charlotte, which is another way of saying that this story is crap.
“It’s a completely new experience for her,” the source said. “She’s been able to carry on with her royal duties seamlessly, as well as looking after George and Charlotte, something she wouldn’t have been able to do if she was doubled up [with nausea].”
What’s more, the godparents have been selected and our jaws will drop when the A-list names are announced (in the hard copy of the magazine, so as not to give away the entire story).
She’s not pregnant. No one moving out of Kensington Palace, nor is the staff going anywhere. The end.