Holly Madison's new memoir does not hold back against Hugh Hefner, the aging Playboy mogul she famously dated and lived with for years.
In Down the Rabbit Hole: Curious Adventures and Cautionary Tales of a Former Playboy Bunny, she puts the iconic publisher on BLAST.
Not just by saying living with Hef made Holly ponder suicide, either.
The former Girls Next Door star, now 35, revealed details of her first encounter with Hugh, now 89, during which Holly says he offered her drugs:
"'Would you like a Quaalude?' Hef asked, leaning toward me with a bunch of large horse pills in his hands, held together by a crumpled tissue."
After she declined the drugs, “Hef did not miss a beat."
"‘Okay, that’s good,’ he said, nonchalantly. ‘Usually, I don’t approve of drugs, but you know, in the ‘70s they used to call these pills thigh openers.’”
Try to projectile vomit away from your tablet or phone.
Madison says that in spite of this awkwardness, she spent the night that night, and moved in weeks later, eventually becoming Hef's #1 girlfriend.
However, the ensuing years were plagued with despair and emotional abuse, and she wanted out. Hefner, she says, tried to convince her to stay.
His method of persuasion? A giant ass bribe.
According to Holly, Hugh rewrote his will so that she would be incredibly well compensated ... so long as she was still living with him:
“The will stated that $3,000,000 would be bestowed to Holly Madison at the time of his death (provided I still lived in the Mansion)."
"I didn’t want it. I actually pitied him for stooping to that level. I couldn’t help but be offended. Did he really think he could buy me?”
Holly also says Kendra Wilkinson is the fakest person to ever live, although she has good things to say about Bridget Marquardt.
One out of three ain't bad.