Gwyneth Paltrow: Planning Couples' Vacation With Chris Martin & Jennifer Lawrence?!

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As you've probably heard, Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin "consciously uncoupled" last year, proving to all the world that they can turn even something as common as a divorce into an exercise in elitist, pseudo-intellectual douche-baggery.

Martin began dating Jennifer Lawrence, a move that's earned him the nickname Chris "Upgrade" Martin (as of right now).

Paltrow began dating Brad Falchuk - a producer for Glee, which was a show people briefly gave a crap about back in 2009.

Gwyneth Paltrow: Red carpet
Chris Martin: Shocked!
Jennifer Lawrence at X-Men Premiere

You might think that it sounds like Paltrow and Martin have both moved on, but that's only because you're a feeble-minded peasant who understands not the ways of the GOOP-y romance.

No, in Gwyneth's world, boning other people is just another way to become closer to the father of your children.

So according to Radar Online, Paltrow has planned a couples' vacation so that all four parties can make awkward conversation and try to outdo one another in the loud sex department.

“Gwyneth recognizes it’s time for Jen to meet the whole family, and she wants Chris to be there for Brad’s first proper bonding experience with the children,” says one insider.

“The plan is to spend a week together in Hawaii, as soon as all their schedules permit, but definitely before the end of summer.”

Yes, before the end of summer, Gwyneth, Chris, Jen and Brad will all be sipping Mai Tais together in Maui. Weird social experiment or late-night Cinemax movie in the making? You be the judge. 

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Born
Birthplace
Louisville, Kentucky
Full Name
Jennifer Lawrence