If Frank Sinatra were alive today, he would be buying Maury Povich a martini and taking him for a rubdown at the Sands.
After months of speculation that Sinatra might be the father of Ronan Farrow, it seems we now have conclusive evidence that Old Blue Eyes is not the baby daddy. Ring-a-ding, ding!
"Couldn't be," said Frank's daughter, Tina Sinatra, in a recent interview. "Frank had a vasectomy before that. I don't know who Ronan's father is."
Neither, it seems, does his mother.
Right now, the best guess is that Ronan's dad is Woody Allen, so you can see why he might prefer the theory that his real father was Frank (who, let's not forget, was an abusive, hot-tempered alcoholic who may have been connected to high-profile mob murders. Really, poor Ronan was screwed either way.)
It's a bummer for Ronan, but good news for the ghost of Frank who was probably really dreading those otherworldly child support payments, ya dig?
Tina suggests that Ronan's piercing blue eyes come from Mia's side of the family. His penchant for crooning the tunes that made your grandparents fell in love to while wearing his hat at a rakish angle? Well that's just a coincidence, baby!
So if you happen to cross paths with Ronan Farrow somewhere in this crazy old world, buy him two fingers a Jack and wish him luck with finding his real pops, because he and the Sinatra family are nothing more than strangers in the night.