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A new (yet sort of recycled) tablod report claims that Khloe Kardashian’s real father is not Robert Kardashian Sr., but rather her hairstylist Alex Roldan.

We’ve heard this before, and the family has laughed it off … but apparently, none other than Rob Kardashian Jr. wants to blow the lid off of this scandal!

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Despite the fact that we find rumors of O.J. Simpson siring Khloe much funnier, Alex and Khloe do look much more alike than Khlo and the Juice.

Alex also hates Kris Jenner, supposedly and incidentally. And hilariously.

So do we actually think Khloe is the spawn of Alex Roldan? Not necessarily, but of all her rumored biological fathers, he would be the best fit.

If nothing else, Rob Kardashian is in a bad place these days, and him spreading rumors about his sister’s alleged secret would almost be believable.

Those who watch Keeping Up With the Kardashians online these days won’t see him on it, as he continues to live a lonely and reclusive lifestyle.

We’re not hating, but it seems pretty matter of fact at this point that Rob has let himself go, packing on 100-plus pounds and acting pretty useless.

We forgot bitter. Rob Kardashian is suing his family – or reportedly considering doing so – for mentioning and disparaging him on their E! program.

Dude is also on the cusp of being cut off by his Momager, so if he wants quick cash, nothing sells faster and at a premium than Kardashian gossip?!

The mother of all family secrets, if it were in fact true, would be that Khloe’s dad is not Robert Sr., whether the real dad is Alex, O.J. or whomever.

Insiders say Rob Jr. is being courted by tabloids eager to nab this exclusive. Whether it’s true or not, if Rob claimed this, it would break the Internet.

Hard. Can you imagine Kris Jenner’s reaction if her only son gave an interview alleging she cheated on Robert Kardashian Sr.? With her hair-dresser?!

We would almost pay to see that. And read Khloe’s new advice book afterward. How do handle such a bombshell would make for quite a chapter …