13 Helpful Pieces of Advice from Khloe Kardashian

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What sort of life advice does Khloe Kardashian have to offer? Here is what we'd like to imagine will be in her book.

1. How to Choose a Hosting Gig

How to Choose a Hosting Gig
Do not choose a hosting gig. Even if you get to stand next to Mario Lopez for hours at a time.

2. Be Proud of Your Curves

Be Proud of Your Curves
Unless they offer you a lot of money to shill for a ridiculous weight loss product.

3. How to Best Use Instagram

How to Best Use Instagram
Just run a Google search for "Profound Quote About Love and Loneliness," copy and paste said quote on to your page and you're set.

4. How to Handle a Crisis

How to Handle a Crisis
Running from your problems doesn't solve anything and only makes it look like you have something to hide. I learned this from my father, O.J. Simpson.

5. Just Say No...

Just Say No...
... to marrying a man with a history of substance abuse.

6. Always Give Your Mom 6% of Your Earnings

Always Give Your Mom 6% of Your Earnings
Or else she will cut you. Seriously.

7. Never Mak a Sex Tape

Never Mak a Sex Tape
Just leave that to your sister and reap the benefits.

8. Embrace Your (Literal) Strength

Embrace Your (Literal) Strength
If you get the shaft and miss out on all the genes that made your siblings much more petite, curvy, and beautiful, at least you can still beat their asses.

9. Actually Have a Baby

Actually Have a Baby
And then see what the tabloids try to write/speculate about!

10. Never Be Afraid to Fish

Never Be Afraid to Fish
If your marriage with a crackhead basketball player doesn't work out, remember: there are plenty of other mediocre rappers who require subtitling in the sea.

11. Know Your Weaknesses

Know Your Weaknesses
For example: Hire an intern to write your self-help book. Come on, that's not anything you're capable of doing yourself.

12. Put Family First

Put Family First
Always be the bigger person and let your brother crash with you when he's in need. The b!tch from Gone Girl would never do that.

13. Even the Douchiest of Bags are People, Too

Even the Douchiest of Bags are People, Too
Let the Lord Be With You. That's not a religious statement, Scott Disick is just hilarious to be around!

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Khloe Kardashian Biography

Khloe Kardashian in Soho
Khloe Kardashian is only famous for being the sister of Kim Kardashian. She stars, along with the rest of this stupidly-named family, on... More »
Born
Full Name
Khloe Kardashian

Khloe Kardashian Quotes

I did wear fur and they wanted to educate me on the brutal ways in which animals are skinned for their pelts.

Khloe Kardashian

They released me early because I was a threat to the prison.. The whole prison was on lockdown. It was actually really scary.

Khloe Kardshian [on early prison release]