Ellen DeGeneres Slams Tabloid, Defends Marriage in Hilarious Talk Show Rant

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Ellen DeGeneres and Portia de Rossi don't seem like a couple in trouble.

After all, they just released a Christmas card, one in which the stars make like Kim Kardashian and Kanye West in that tandem's absurd "Bound 2" music video.

But tell that to Star Magazine, which claimed last week the marriage between Ellen and Porta is "crumbling."

And enter the following, perfect, hilarious response by DeGeneres.

“There’s not one ounce of truth to any of it. I’m very happily married. In fact, the only thing we ever argue about is who loves who more," Ellen said of her union to de Rossi, adding:

“And we argue if we’d let a kangaroo carry us around in its pouch for a year. I would. She wouldn’t. She’ll change her mind. Who wouldn’t want to be in the pouch of a kangaroo for a year?”

Ellen said she didn't want to reveal which tabloid wrote this fallacious article, but "the cover says ‘Number 1 For Celebrity News,’ and obviously they would not lie about that.”

The comedian then concluded with a funny and accurate point:

“It’s tricky because they quote ‘a reliable source’ or a ‘good friend.' If they want to make it more believable they should at least say ‘Portia and Ellen’s marriage crumbles,’ according to a terrible, terrible friend.”

Very well played, Ellen.

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Ellen DeGeneres Biography

Jason and Molly on Ellen
Ellen DeGeneres was a great host of the Oscars and an often funny woman. She entertains us. She was one of the very first stars to come... More »
Full Name
Ellen DeGeneres

Ellen DeGeneres Quotes

I’m thrilled that the California supreme court overturned the ban on gay marriage. I can’t wait to get married. We all deserve the same rights, and I believe that someday we’ll look back on this and not allowing gays to marry will seem as absurd as not allowing women to vote.

Ellen DeGeneres

You showed us something in that film that I have not seen for a very, very long time.

Ellen DeGeneres [to Jonah Hill, regarding his penis in The Wolf of Wall Street]