The Real Housewives of Miami Review: Bras and Brawls

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The Real Housewives of Miami break out the "Bras and Brawls" as they head to a charity event that looks more like a high end brothel. We recap whose outfit was devilishly inspired and who wore their grandma's lingerie in our THG +/- review.

Joanna's Fur Campaign

Move over Lea. Lisa's throwing her own charity event and what better way to raise awareness for breast cancer than to throw a lingerie party for 800 of your closest friends. Plus 15. It's an inspired idea, even if the event did resemble a high end brothel.

Lisa's search for the perfect outfit was entertaining.  At least she recognized that some of this outfits made her look like a cheap hooker. Plus 10.

And I can't help but agree that a house full of young, sexy woman parading around in their lingerie sounds like a lot more fun than Lea's stuffy, black tie gala.

Across town Lea's getting ready for said gala with the help of Adriana, Alexia, and Joanna, although I can't see what they were helping with other than bringing the latest gossip.  Adriana and Alexia start whining about Karent once again and boy, that's gotten old fast. Minus 8.

On a sidetone, did anyone else think Adriana looked hungover when she first walked in? Maybe she just couldn't sleep thinking about the supposed quote from Karent in the paper calling them all "classless, fame addicts with botox for brains."  

Well, it's hard to argue with that, even if Karent denies ever saying it.  Plus 13.

As much as Lea loves to instigate a good fight, she hopes Adriana will hold her tongue until after the gala.  Yeah, good luck with that.

Back over at Lisa's, the party prep is in full swing and Marta's idea of being helpful is staying out of the way and hanging by the pool. Minus 10. She could be a little more helpful being that she's staying there for free. Perhaps Romain had a point about Joanna's little sis.

But she did go support her sister (i.e. sat back and watched her photo shoot) while Joanna modeled for PETA.  Joanna's right. Many celebrities talk a good game but she puts it all out there, literally.  Who else do you see trying on vagina wigs for an anti-fur campaign?  Plus 22. If she was shooting for over the top she certainly found the mark, although teasing the dog was a bit much.

The lingerie party finally begins and you'd think with all of Lea's supposed experience she's know that telling your host she looks hilarious is never a good idea. Minus 7.

Lisa went with the stringy black leather devil ensemble over the angel lingerie she tried on earlier and Marysol showed up in a fur trimmed outfit from her grandma's closet.

Lea shows up with two men on her arm…and neither of them are her husband.  The first is Elaine…I mean James.  How does he choose which events to show up for in drag and which not?

The other is Joe Francis of Girls Gone Wild fame and Joanna is not a fan.  She calls him "one of the biggest scumbags ever" and from what we see here, I can't say that she's wrong.

I can't figure out which was more offensive, Joe crowing about dating both Joanna and her sister Marta or Lea actually coming out and asking if he had slept with them both.  

Really low class, Lea. Minus 17.

Of course the moment Karent hears it she has to run and squawk to new best friend Joanna.  Minus 11. If she had kept her mouth shut this may have died down on its own.  Unfortunately, no such luck.

Joanna flips out, screamming at Joe and calling him a "f**king liar" to his face.  Joe doesn't back down, swearing something about oral sex and a movie theater.  

Oh yeah, this is a classy party.  

At least Lea tries to pull Joe away, although it was her own comments that started all of this.

Joanna never sees how her own temper makes these situations worse. That's probably why Romain holds his tongue. I kept waiting for him to jump in but he never did.  

Joanna's Shocked

In the end, Joe's still crowing about his sexual exploits, Joanna's ranting, and Marta's in tears.  Did she really sleep with his jerk?

She's not talking. At least not this week.

Episode total = +7!  Season total = -183!

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