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As Jessica Simpson’s baby bump gets bigger, so does the girl’s mouth … in a manner of speaking. The girl’s quotes about pregnancy just keep getting more absurd.

Don’t get us wrong … the Jessica Simpson nude cover of Elle was pretty, and we’re happy she’s excited for the birth of her daughter Maxwell (seriously) in May.

There have been TMI moments, however, as she can’t go an hour without telling us ALL about it. Some of the best/worst Jessica Simpson pregnancy quotes.

Jessica Simpson Is 4 Years Sober
Photo via Instagram
  • “Kraft mac and cheese with Lawry’s seasoning salt is the breakfast for pregnant champions!”
  • “Woke up looking like the lip injection fairy visited me in the night! Is this how pregnancy face begins? Yikes!”
  • “The average person expels gas 15 times each day. The average pregnant woman farts 15 times that!”
  • “I feel like I have a bowling ball sitting on my hookah. Apparently I have a lot of amniotic fluid, so whenever my water breaks, it will be like a fire hydrant!”
  • “I just started referring to myself as Swamp Ass. Like, I have ‘swamp ass’ right now. I seriously had major swamp ass because I was wearing these Spanx to hold in my gut. It’s like the bayou up in that region.”
  • “I am definitely ‘feeling intimate’ … I’m kind of unstoppable right now. The Big O is, like, the biggest O ever!”
  • “Oh my God, y’all. I just had a daydream that my vagina ate a bag of Skittles!”