Wife to Wayne Rooney: No More Cheating with Prostitutes!

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Now hear this, Wayne Rooney: You really can't cheat on your wife with high-priced call girls anymore!

Multiple reports over the last few weeks have confirmed that this British soccer star stepped out on his (pregnant!) better half with a prostitute named Jennifer Thompson. Friends and sources said Rooney didn't even exhibit much guilt over his actions, pretty much daring Coleen to divorce him.

It doesn't sound like she'll take the bait, however. According to The Daily Mail, Coleen Rooney returned to the couple's home this week after spending time with her parents.

"Things are looking better and they are talking about a future together," an insider tells the newspaper, while another pal says Wayne has agreed to "a variety of different rules."

Luke, you know, only boning the woman to whom he's married.

In 2004, Wayne and Coleen separated while she dealt with another cheating scandal, but she eventually took him back.

Not much has changed this time around, friends say.

"Coleen has told him if it ever happens again that will be it," claims a source. "It will mean an end to his nights out with the lads for a long time to come and is a chance to rebuild the trust they once had. He has told her it was all a terrible mistake and he has learned his lesson."

We'll see about that. Call us crazy, but we doubt Wayne Rooney is capable of only scoring on the soccer field.