As Jersey Shore goes, Season 2, Episode 2 (“The Hangover”) was not among the greatest. How could it be with the primary focus on Sammi and Ronnie?
While Ronnie pretended not to remember what he did the night before, Sammi gave him the cold shoulder … until she came around for the 293rd time.
Also heavily featured in this week’s episode? Angelina Pivarnick. Like Sammi and Ronnie, she really needs an intervention, or a just ticket home ASAP.
At a certain point it’s just boring and annoying. Meltdowns are supposed to be fun to watch, right? Though we suppose JWoww may still throw down.
Anyway, here’s The Hollywood Gossip‘s scientific plus-minus recap …
Ronnie, on hooking up with land mines and grenades in the premiere: “Yo, I was doin’ mad work tonight bro! Mad work!” Yo, you’re a douche, bro! Minus 8.
Vinny says one of Ronnie’s hookups plays tight end for the Giants. Plus 4.
Pauly D coins another gem: “Ronnie’s new nickname is IFF. The I’m F*%ked Foundation. He’s a client and the president!” Plus 7, because it’s funny and true.
For a girl nicknamed Sweetheart, Sammi really isn’t that nice. Minus 16. We’re just saying. These girls are all catty, but she’s miserable and not even funny.
JWoww at the tranny store: “The sex shop is perfect. Perfect … It’s my scene. And when I get into my scene I get into my clothes.” What clothes? Minus 6.
After buying a $395 pair of sunglasses, Snooki walks around blind, seeks pickles, ruins dinner, and does a half-ass job cleaning it up. Standard. Plus 9.
Delivery guy: What’s the name? Mike: Situation. S-i-t-u-a-t-i-o-n. Plus 5.
Snooki and JWoww confront Angelina about smack-talk pertaining to their friends/boyfriends. JWoww threatens violence many, many times. Plus 13.
Give it a rest, you guys. Seriously.
Pauly D’s new boss is concerned about his hair. His response: “This hair ain’t movin’ my dude. 150 miles per hour on the highway on a street bike. Doesn’t move. What makes you think it’s gonna move in a gelato shop?” Amen. Plus 14.
The Situation introduces the shirt-before-the-shirt concept: “We have an abundance of wife beaters … we wear before we go out. Then it’s T-shirt time. Right before we go out we take off the tank and then we put on our fresh shirt.” Plus 11.
At the club, The Situation gets bitten while making out with a panty-less drunk girl. Happens to the best of us on Thursday nights. Hang in there. Minus 4.
Pauly D hooks up with a girl who, according to Angelina, is married. She confronts him about this, apparently unaware that 1. She used to date a married guy herself, and 2. Pauly D obviously doesn’t care, girl! Chill! Plus 7.
After professing her love to Pauly D (seriously), Ange proceeds to SLAP HIM. Minus 19 for being generally insane, and Minus 12 more for this being the most pathetic slap ever. Everyone hates you anyway … put your back into it!
Plus 3 for next week’s promo. After this week, it should be hilariously awkward.
TOTAL: +8. SEASON: +34. Follow this link for the night’s Jersey Shore quotes!