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When Paris Hilton friends you haven’t heard about in several years (if at all) get together at the same party, well, almost no one cares. But we do! It’s our job!

On the left, we have Brandon Davis, a.k.a. Greasy Bear, coiner of the term “firecrotch” for Lindsay Lohan and general waste of space. His hair is rather oily.

On the right, we have Stavros Niarchos. He used to date Paris … and Lindsay. And one of the Olsen Twins. Dude is lookin’ rather sharp with his new haircut!

The only question? Who would you rather … you know? Vote below!

Who would you rather …