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It’s been awhile, but once again, the incomparable Stephen Colbert has taken the time out of his hit Comedy Central show, The Colbert Report, to tackle more important issues. It’s been a hell of a week.

Who (and what) makes the latest “On Notice” board? Let’s see…

Stephen Colbert Holds Emmy

Can you really argue with his selections? Cardin McKinney fans gotta calm down: their gal ain’t gonna win American Idol; and President Bush’s Economic Stimulus Plan? Weak! As for the rest of the list…

  • Seriously, take it easy, Mams Taylor. No way Taryn Manning is worth it.
  • We’ve got our eye on you, Mitt Romney! Keep connecting a vote for Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama to a national security surrender and we’ll make sure you won’t even be able to win the presidency of your local kennel in 2012.
  • Go find a real cause, PETA. No one cares about roosters. And have you seen Pedro Martinez’s change up?!?
  • The Middle East: Angelina Jolie is coming for you. Be warned. Be aroused.
  • We hope you had your fun with all that alcohol, troubled liver of Kirsten Dunst. The actress has put you on notice: it’s time to get healthy.
  • Finally, we pity the Las Vegas police force. Katie Rees is out there, drunk, naked and combative!