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Brandon Davis, a.k.a. “Greasy Bear,” reportedly decided in the recent past that he was rather unhappy with what his image had devolved to.

That being a worthless, spoiled rich oil heir and friend of Paris Hilton with a propensity for vile outbursts and sweating like a pig.

The New York Post‘s Page Six reports that the ball of lard has been on a diet and was proud to show off his “leaner form” at a party the other night … where he only drank water.

Normally, we revere the Post. Their sleuths break many stories, including the Stray-Rod / Joslyn Noel Morse scandal and the revelation that Shar Jackson may be pregnant again.

But come on guys. Brandon Davis? Leaner form? You gotta be kidding, right? April Fool’s was two months ago. Are you smoking up with Nicole Richie or something?

Here’s Greasy Bear in a screen capture from his infamous “Firecrotch” rant (in which he immortalized Lindsay Lohan as such) in May 2006. That incident is on the left. Compare it to this picture of a “svelte” Davis taken at a Hollywood party Tuesday.

Wow, you can really see the difference. Not. Preparing to light a cigarette despite being drenched in oil, this guy is still greasier than Spencer Pratt, albeit less conniving.

Although he may have bribed the Post to discuss his “leanness.” That’s the only explanation we can think of. What’s next, Kevin Federline, Rhodes scholar?