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Things are likely to get stressful for stripper Joslyn Noel Morse, as her tawdry affair with married New York Yankees slugger Alex Rodriguez becomes public knowledge.

Let’s hope she handles duress better than Amy Winehouse, who reveals how a “desperate” and “depressed” past led her to start mutilating herself.

Amy Winehouse Tribute Pic

The “Rehab” songstress opens up about the slash marks left behind on her forearm in a revealing new Rolling Stone interview, which earned her the cover of the U.S. rock magazine.

The new wife of Blake Fielder-Civil attributes the blues to the fact she grew up in the shadow of an older brother, stating:

“I did a lot of that ‘Oh, life’s so depressing’ stuff before I was 12. That’s when I would be reading J.D. Salinger… and feeling frustrated.”

But Amy Winehouse adds her cutting started later, explaining, “That’s really old… Just from a bad time, I suppose. Desperate times.”

Tom Cruise would argue that there’s no such thing as depression… or probably desperation, or frustration. Or emotions of any kind. Guy is a weird one.

But enough about that loon. Winehouse has hinted before that she’s set to quit the music business after just two albums – to devote her time to being a good wife and mum.

The singer, who wed Blake Fielder-Civil in a secret Miami ceremony last month, has suggested she may never record another album or tour again – because now she wants to settle down and start a family.

“I’ve done a record I’m really proud of and that’s about it,” Winehouse, who didn’t make Blake ink a pre-nupital agreement, tells Rolling Stone.

“I’m a caretaker at heart and I want to enjoy myself and spend time with my husband… Blake and I didn’t get to spend any time together for a long time.”

Winehouse, who shocked many when she got engaged to Fielder-Civil in April after a separation from him, and who is a former Wenn employee, adds:

“I don’t want to be ungrateful. I know I’m talented, but I wasn’t put here to sing. I was put here to be a wife and a mom and look after my family.”

Amen to that. A-Dubs may sport a giant octopus on her head… but that doesn’t mean she doesn’t have a good head on her shoulders, as they say.

Too bad Britney Spears can’t take such a grounded approach.