Gossip hounds love nothing more than when one of their favorite celebrities is dating someone new. Especially if that someone is relative unknown, an individual shrouded in mystery who we can’t wait to learn about.
That said, The Hollywood Gossip has put together a list of some of its favorite obscure celebrity boyfriends who have come and gone in the past six months – along with some who are still hanging around. Because some of our subjects are, well, obscure, some of our details are sketchy at best. But we’ll break it down for you as best we can.
1. Harry Morton
Celebrity Girlfriend: Lindsay Lohan
When They Got Together: Early July 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: Late September, 2006. Because Lohan is a train wreck.
Relationship Highlights: Harry Morton, heir to the Hard Rock fortune and president of the Pink Taco restaurant chain [insert crude Lohan joke here], was smitten with the actress last summer. But since he doesn’t drink, and she does little else, it wasn’t meant to be.
At least his family was reportedly going to buy the Arizona Cardinals’ stadium and name it Firecrotch Field (okay, we made up the last part). After fading from the spotlight, there were rumors that Morton slept over at Paris Hilton‘s home on November 14, though we never heard more about it.
2. Braxton Olita
Celebrity Girlfriend: Ashlee Simpson
When They Got Together: 2005
When & Why They Broke Up: September 4, 2006
Relationship Highlights: Braxton, the guitarist in Ashlee’s band (yes, she actually has a band) captured her heart for what seemed like an eternity in Hollywood. She even declared that she was saving herself for the Hawaiian. But alas, they broke up with little fanfare. It’s just as well. Braxton was probably sick of listening to her not sing live. That’s right, she doesn’t sing.
3. Samuel Plouchart
Celebrity Girlfriend: Nicole Richie
When They Got Together: October 6, 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: There was never really any news about it, but no one ever heard from Samuel Plouchart again after October 11.
Relationship Highlights: Wondering if Plouchart, the fashion editor at the French magazine Citizen K, brags to pals that he got the sloppy thirds of Brody Jenner and DJ AM.
4. Max Snow
Celebrity Girlfriend: Mary-Kate Olsen
When They Got Together: Sometime between September 20, 2006 and October 18, 2006. On the latter date, the more famous one of the Olsen Twins was seen with Snow. But in mid-September, she was reportedly with Killers drummer Ronnie Vannucci.
When & Why They Broke Up: For some reason (probably money), the 21-year-old Snow appears to like dating Mary-Kate and is still together with her.
Relationship Highlights: The absurd outfits Mary-Kate and sister Ashley Olsen wear. And the way the tabloids try to describe Max Snow. Is he a rocker? No. Does he dress like one? Yes. Does he have friends that are rockers? Yes. Does anyone know what Max Snow does with his life besides hang out with Mary-Kate? No. Thus, he’s a perfect addition to this list.
5. Nick Zano
Celebrity Girlfriend: Kristin Cavallari (present)
When They Got Together: Mid-November, 2006. On November 8, we ran a pic of Cavallari and Jason Wahler together. Not sure if they got it on, but she was reportedly single at that point. She and Nick Zano were first spotted in public together November 21.
When & Why They Broke Up: They rung in the new year together and are still dating and sucking face wherever they go. At first, this relationship seemed like a cheap ploy to make her ex, Brody Jenner jealous, but now it’s looking like these two lovebirds are quite content with each other.
Relationship Highlights: For Nick Zano, that he gets to make out with Kristin Cavallari in public. For us, that we get to post Kristin Cavallari pictures online. Which may sound pathetic, but it’s better than nothing.
6. J.R. Rotem
Celebrity Girlfriend: Britney Spears
When They Got Together: December 11, 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: December 12, 2006. He’s a dirtbag.
Relationship Highlights: Andy Warhol, who once wrote that everyone has 15 minutes of fame, would be proud of this “music producer” for trying to exploit his after a one-night stand with Britney. Then he’d roll over in his grave as Rotem got negged at Hyde the next night.
7. David Katzenberg
Celebrity Girlfriend: Mary-Kate Olsen, Nicky Hilton (present)
When They Got Together: Early November, 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: Still going strong as of late December. Nicky Hilton keeps a lower profile than sister Paris, so it’s harder to keep track of her.
Relationship Highlights: Other than the revelation that David Katzenberg also used to date Mary-Kate Olsen on the day he and Hilton were first seen together, not many. Seems like a nice young man.
8. Rupert Friend
Celebrity Girlfriend: Keira Knightley
When They Got Together: Fall 2006
When & Why They Broke Up: For the moment, at least, Keira appears to have a good friend. In Rupert Friend. Sorry, we just can’t get enough of that one.
Relationship Highlights: There were rumors that the two were engaged about a month ago, but it turns out they were just bickering. Since then, Keira wasting away to nothing before our eyes, Rupert looking like a cross between Orlando Bloom, a psycho old dude and the infamous Nick Nolte mug shot.
9. Stavros Niarchos
Celebrity Girlfriend: Mary-Kate Olsen, Lindsay Lohan, Paris Hilton (present)
When They Got Together: We’re not even going to attempt to answer that
When & Why They Broke Up: Presumably because he cheated on one of the above celebrities with another of the above celebrities
Relationship Highlights: By now, the Greek God of Poontang isn’t really obscure anymore. To quote Office Space, the guy gets around… like a record. But at some point, he was just some rich Greek shipping tycoon’s kid. He hasn’t done a thing to be famous except be wealthy and get his freak on with this triumvirate of pain. We salute Stavros Niarchos for that, sure – we just refuse to acknowledge that he’s an actual celebrity. Then again, we feel the same way about Paris Hilton, whom he may or may not be getting engaged to soon.
10. Isaac Cohen
Celebrity Girlfriend: Britney Spears
When They Got Together: Early January, 2007
When & Why They Broke Up: Still together, as of this posting, but knowing Spears’ track record (see #6 above), it could be off by the time you read this.
Relationship Highlights: A steamy boat ride and one public appearance are all we have to go on at this stage. Initially, people criticized Cohen for looking a bit too Kevin Federline-esque, but it looks as if he cleans up well. Moreover, a couple of our readers claim to know Isaac Cohen a little and say he is a decent guy who is not out for publicity. Here’s hoping he can “spank the skank” out of our girl.