Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome your Arizona Cardinals as they make their way into Firecrotch Stadium!
Such an annoucement may not be so far-fetched, now that the family of Lindsay Lohan's summer boy toy, billionaire Harry Morton, has put in a bid for the naming rights for the home of the NFL's Cardinals.
The Mortons have offered $5 million for the new stadium's naming rights, the largest amount ever presented in Arizona history. That's why Airhead Arena or Promiscuous Park aren't out of the question.
Morton is the President and CEO of the Pink Taco restaurant chain. His family recently sold its stake in Morton's Steakhouse, the Hard Rock Cafe, and the Hotel & Casino for approximately $1.2 billion. That's almost as many dollars as guys Lindsay has spread her legs for.
While we kid about such names as the Neighborhood Bicycle Bowl, the family is more likely to go with a traditional moniker, such as Pink Taco Stadium. So, in other words, it'll be based on Lohan no matter what.
In other football-related news, Morton is friends with Cardinals' quarterback Matt Leinart - who's been romantically linked to Lindsay's arch enemy Paris Hilton.
So there's another idea for the stadium's name: Catfight Coliseum. Leave us a comment now with your suggestions!