Thanks to People magazine for collecting the following …
“I have bruises all over. That’s why I haven’t worn shorts.”
— Lindsay Lohan, on her recent pole-dancing lessons
“It’s more relaxing there. You can go to a coffee shop in your sweatpants and no one cares. Though everyone in my hometown thinks Hollywood is so small. They think I live next door to J.Lo and hang out with Leonardo DiCaprio.”
— Maxim‘s January cover girl, Lacey Chabert, on coming home to Mississippi

“You have to be unwavering in your convictions that you’re doing something good, because there are a lot of circling vultures that will eat you alive.”
— CBS Evening News anchor Katie Couric, telling Esquire that she feels some people are rooting for her to fail in her new job
“There’s a good chance that I’ll do something like that again … Not on purpose.”
— Rosie O’Donnell, apologizing for offensive comments on The View that outraged the Asian-American community
“It’s the first time I’ve ever felt bad that somebody didn’t win. It was so evenly matched.”
— Jeff Probst, on his feelings about the Survivor finale and winner Yul Kwon
“Have you folks seen the new Mel Gibson movie, Apolcalypto? Well, it’s apparently — the whole movie is in ancient Mayan, and I’m thinking to myself, ‘If I want to see a movie that’s incomprehensible in language, well, I’ll just go see Rocky Balboa.’ “
— David Letterman
“I’ve only known her for, like, seven days, but I have a connection with her that’s like nothing else I’ve ever experienced.”
— Aaron Carter, on his girlfriend, singer Kaci Brown
“I’m still nursing, and I think it gives you superhuman powers.”
— Gwen Stefani on her energy level since giving birth to her son Kingston in May
“I’m going to the show if I can waddle out of the house. I don’t know what kind of tent they are going to put me in. I’m thinking black or navy. It’s not going to be a high-fashion year for me. And I’m thinking barefoot. I deserve it.”
— Pregnant Golden Globe nominee Marcia Cross, on her preparations for the ceremony