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Nick Lachey is a happy guy these days. He’s got a better singing career than he ever had when he was married, and doesn’t have to spend time with that half-wit Jessica Simpson either.

But that doesn’t mean the memories from his unhappy union aren’t lingering. Even as our boy Nick celebrates a joyous occasion – his birthday, as well as the birthday of his new squeeze, the sweet and vastly superior Vanessa Minnillo – he can’t help but become enraged and suicidal when certain songs are played over the club’s sound system.

Ashlee Simpson and Evan Ross Are Expecting Their Second Child

Yes, Nick, we totally understand. Listening to Ashlee Simpson will drive your into a blinding rage. It certainly happens to us. We can’t even imagine what it’s like when she’s your sister-in-law and you have to pretend she doesn’t suck ass.