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Based on this picture of a pregnant Kim Porter, it’s safe to assume she wasn’t dancing on any tables during her baby shower last week.

The girlfriend of Diddy – and soon-to-be mother of his twin girls – probably has trouble just watching a DVD of Dirty Dancing over her huge stomach these days. At least we would imagine so. No one at T.H. Gossip has ever been pregnant.

But it could be worse. She could be experiencing the wrath of Suge Knight, for example. That is one scary motherf*%ker you don’t want to piss off.

Or Kim could be forced to listen to an Ali Lohan album. We’re pretty sure child birth is nothing compared to that.

Meanwhile, if Diddy and Kim are in need of names, we’re sorry to report the following, sad news: Thijs is taken.

However, the possibility of a play date with Jayden James Federline and numerous other mystery celebrity babies remains.